Two years ago — back when we still had a show on the TV — we boldly confronted U.S. Rep. Jon Porter about his mysterious connection to actress Scarlett Johansson. That connection? She graced the cover of Esquire magazine, in the very issue it endorsed a bunch of candidates for office. You guessed it: Porter got the New York elite media nod for re-election. Voters agreed, but just barely. Esquire’s influence is apparently not what it used to be.

Well, once again, Esquire has an endorsements issue, and once again, there’s a hot chick on the cover, and once again, the magazine is recommending a vote for Porter. This time, the congressman’s newsstand running mate is Halle Berry, who Esquire proclaims is the sexiest woman alive. And, we must say, the magazine make a fine argument.

For Berry, that is. The Porter endorsement is a little light on details: “This is a race between two very able candidates, Porter, a moderate conservative, and [Dina] Titus, a rising star state senator from Vegas. Representing a politically balanced district in a bad year for Republicans, Porter may well be running his last race. That would be too bad.”

That’s it? That’s all we have to go on? Well, the magazine does have to squeeze in endorsements for hundreds of districts around the country, including Nevada’s 1st (Shelley Berkley) and 2nd (Dean Heller). Of the latter, Esquire says “In the House, he’s broken sharply with his party on stem-cell research. Word is he wants to run for governor.”

Heller has broken sharply all right: He’s broken sharply off the main road of decency up a winding path to a remote cabin where he’s made sweet love to the conservative wing of his party down by the fire! But hey, whatever, Esquire gets Halle Berry to pose for its cover, and all we’ve got is a Tommy Bahama fedora, so who are you going to listen to?

Anyway, Titus shouldn’t be totally sad: We noticed that in Michael Moore’s new book — Mike’s Election Guide — she’s prominently featured as an endorsed candidate. And he didn’t even endorse in every race, the way Esquire did. So, there’s that. Just don’t mention that out in Logandale, senator.