No one could ever accuse CityLife of ageism (we love old farts as much as anyone). Still, we suggest that maybe it’s not such a hot idea to elect as president a guy as timeworn as U.S. Sen. John McCain, who celebrates his 567th birthday on Aug. 29.

First, the “crotchety factor” is gonna be sky high with this dude. Not a good quality in a guy who has immediate access to the button. Second, and most important for this discussion, McCain’s memory seems to be failing him at an increasingly exponential rate these days.

While we can’t say that Alzheimer’s disease is behind McCain’s failure to grasp economics — to be fair, the so-called dismal science was yet to be invented when young McCain was but a lad and the Earth’s crust was still cooling — these holes in his memory are growing wider by the day.

Consider: On a recent appearance on Good Morning America, McCain forgot that there’s no such thing as the Iraq-Pakistan border. See for yourself. At least 1,400 miles separate the two countries.

Also, McCain - in an interview that will air tonight on MSNBC - criticized U.S. Sen. Barack Obama for giving a speech in Berlin. McCain’s money quote:

“I would rather speak at a rally or a political gathering any place outside of the country after I am president of the United States,” McCain said. “But that’s a judgment that Sen. Obama and the American people will make.”

The thing is, McCain forgot about a little rant he gave last month before the Economic Club of Toronto (that’s in Canada). His subject matter? The importance of relations between Canada and the United States of America. McCain’s other money quote:

“There aren’t any electoral votes to be won up here in the middle of a presidential election. But there are many shared interests that require our attention today … “

Oh, you mean issues such as repairing our defiled international reputation among our European allies (’cause, really, nobody gives a fuck what Canadians think)? And making sure our cousins across the pond are still willing to work with us, despite our having elected the massive tool who is President George W. Bush - a common shit kicker who was hell-bent on invading Iraq and avenging his daddy much earlier than he’s ever admitted? You mean those types of interests?

Maybe it’s us, but ever since we tried to call McCain on his bullshit late last month, the public statements from the senior senator from Arizona have been increasingly divorced from reality. Maybe we got to him. Maybe not. Maybe it’s an impending death that’s impairing his faculties (” … place your right hand here, Vice President Romney … “) But fear not, dear readers, when an overly smug Obama begins using the bully pulpit of the presidency to falsely accuse his enemies, CityBlog will be there, all full of piss and vinegar and ready to pounce.

Why are we going to all this trouble to attack a poor, cranky old shit like McCain? Because, according to experts such as those at the Cook Political Report, the Silver State is still a toss-up. And while we’re betting that Obama could very well turn out to be a bust, the political neophyte from Illinois, on his worst day, will still be a helluva lot better than an angry septuagenarian brown shoe (ask your ex-Navy buddies) with memory lapses and a chip on his shoulder the size of Phoenix.