CityLife columnist Chip Mosher writes:

It was one of those sneaky tidbits that could’ve easily sailed over the head of someone not trained in the nuance of school board banalities. Near the end of the May 8 board meeting, member Terri Janison quietly reminded other members that, “Some of the administrators have asked us to look at strengthening (the) dress code for teachers.”

But there is already a dress code for teachers in their negotiated contract with the district! Unfortunately, many administrators currently ignore this contract and create their own tyrannical dress rules for the sheepish teachers in their schools (i.e., no blue jeans, ever). Principals often get away with this blatant disregard for teachers’ rights because the teachers’ faux union has consistently failed to back teachers on such issues. Watch for the EduNazis of CCSD — Janison and the evil administrators — to soon have all teachers as sartorially spit-shined and wrinkle-free as stormtroopers.

Also at the same meeting, the sound system was out of order. It was next to impossible to hear board members speaking. (Talk about banality control.) And what exactly does a school board meeting become without sound? Scarily, one weird fashion show. The four trustees who showed up to the meeting on time — a veritable clique of haute couture kumquats-took the stage with haughty, snotty flair.

Former board president Ruth Johnson waltzed into the chambers wrapped in a big, puffy, red outfit that inflated her into a large Christmas ornament out of season. Newbie Trustee Carolyn Edwards lumbered onstage in an opened lavender smock offset by a tan sweater underneath. Her helmet-like I-came-over-on-the-Mayflower and really-wanna-burn-some-witches platinum hairdo, parted down the middle, created pause for thought: Did she really come over on the Mayflower, or is she a recent escapee from some local cult of polygamists? Terri Janison, on the other hand, slunk around in a sleek black business suit, tailored to fit the most Stepford of wives. And Trustee Sheila Moulton was adorned in her usual bland monotones — a gray pantsuit, black blouse combo — accentuated by a cumbersome chain-link necklace.

Think Vegas horror film: In the future, principals will insist all teachers dress like these tacky school board trustees. That is, before those principals force the poor teachers to remove their clothes and get on their knees to earn some merit pay. EduNazi style.