His “divorce could be [a] liability” to his “career in politics”?

Oh, man. That’s a good one. All this time I was certain that the biggest liability to Gibbons’ career in politics is … well, his career in politics.

While we’re waiting around for other news to break, how about a couple deep-fried Quick Hits? No trans-fats! Here we go!

• Good news for Senate Democrats: The selection of state Sen. Steven Horsford as minority leader was a no-brainer for the Democrats in Nevada’s upper house. He’s smart, has good relationships with the right people, understands the process and truly cares about people, to boot. He’s also in for some headaches as he finds out just why poor ex-minority leader Dina Titus seemed so eager to drink after long days managing a fractious caucus. Make her show you were she kept the booze, Sen. Horsford!
• First, some praise: Good for Las Vegas Councilman Ricki Barlow, who agreed to a proposal to take $5,000 from each council member’s $35,000 slush fund to pay for a senior meal program. “We have seniors in this community who lack appropriate medical treatment as well as food,” Barlow was quoted as saying in the Las Vegas Sun. “I not only think it’s wise, I think it’s a moral and ethical obligation.” Damn straight, councilman.
• Now, some gentle criticism: Are you kidding?! The council still has $30,000 each, or a total of $210,000 that’s generally used for parties and other electoral activities. How much good could that money do in the community? C’mon, council. As Barlow said, it’s a moral and ethical obligation. (And one that the Sun noted in an editorial.)
• Wait, so John McCain is denying he said he didn’t vote for Bush in 2000? That’s odd: Since Bush basically let surrogates lie their asses off about McCain in the South Carolina primary that year, and since Bush never really won the 2000 election anyway, McCain saying he didn’t vote for Bush actually makes us kind of admire the Arizona senator. Too bad he didn’t say it. Huh?
• Where can you kill people and get away with it? Baghdad, baby. Maybe they could just move that proposed .50-caliber shooting range 7,450.16 miles to the east?
• Brian Greenspun argues that people in a general election will never, ever vote for Barack Obama, so naturally why not put him on the ticket? Who gets to be president, Obama or Brian’s favorite senator, Hillary Clinton? Flip a coin and decide! (No, really, he said that.) Memo to Brian: Obama is winning. If the situation were reversed, does anybody think Greenspun would have penned that piece?
• Our own U.S. Sen. Harry Reid continues the charm offensive, going on Countdown with Keith Olbermann and This Week with that One Guy Who Really Loves Flag Pins. Hey, that reminds us, back in the 1980s, there was this one deejay on the radio in L.A. called Rick Dees, right? Anyway, when he had somebody on the radio who was just so dry and dull and couldn’t even get excited about winning money or concert tickets or whatever, Dees would be all, “Hey, call back when you’re finished being embalmed.” That was so funny. Anyway, we’re not sure why we thought of that…
• Wasn’t the city going to sell branding space on every flat surface back in 2002? We distinctly remember writing a smart-alecky column about it.

Here it is, amigos, or “friends.”

What do all these lines have in common?

• “The formation of a strong and focused government will set the stage for reconciliation and peace throughout the country, serving as a model for others in the Middle East. Then we in the United States can sleep easier knowing there is one less threat against us because we have helped bring Iraq into the 21st century, providing their citizens with the opportunities we cherish in our great country.“
• “We are succeeding in our goals for the Iraqi people. Unfortunately, only the violence is covered in the media and not the humanitarian progress that is being made.”
• “But while watching the news channels in the dining facility, some mentioned how disheartening it was to watch or read the media coverage of the day. There was little, if any, mention of the successes that our military has achieved during the past five years. The story lines, instead, seemed to concentrate on the negatives such as the financial cost of the war, and the number of casualties among U.S. forces and Iraqi civilians.”

Answer: They’re all propaganda, and they were all printed in the Review-Journal under the byline of one Dr. Joe Heck, aka Republican state Sen. Joe Heck. The third installment of Heck’s multi-part series ran in today’s paper. And like the others before it, it contained not a single mention of the fact that he’ll be on the ballot in November.

Will we read anything about the other side of the story, the one that says what happens in Iraq has nothing whatsoever to do with the security of the United States, and never did? Iraq didn’t attack us, and didn’t support those who did. That’s Afghanistan. Will we read anything that says, of course news coverage centers on our losses, because each and every one is a tragic, unnecessary waste in a tragic, unnecessary war? Will we read anything that says the primary good to come out of the war is profits for connected companies like Halliburton, KBR and Blackwater? Or how our soldiers are treated by our own government upon their return to the United States?

Nope. That’s not the preferred storyline, so it won’t be found in the R-J’s pages, just like the ethically required disclosure that the paper is essentially donating news space to a politician who’s running for office. Sure, you can argue Heck earned it, by answering the call to duty and going to Iraq when he could just as easily have stayed home. But that doesn’t mean you cover it up, either.

So a prominent Nevada Republican — former party chairman John Mason — has alleged that former U.S. Public Printer Bruce James, also a prominent Nevada Republican, engaged in some kind of inappropriate conduct with his daughter five years ago in Washington, D.C.

Of course, Gov. Jim Gibbons — who vaguely recalls being told about the incident by Mason back when Gibbons was a congressman — forgot all about it and appointed James head of his budget-cutting SAGE commission.

First Scandal Note: Clearly, Gibbons either really forgot about the charges (which means he’s kind of an idiot) or he didn’t. If he didn’t forget about them, it means he believed there was some truth to the allegations and appointed James anyway (which means he’s kind of an idiot) or that he didn’t believe them at all. If he didn’t believe them at all, we are compelled to wonder why not. (And no, we don’t think it’s because Gibbons himself has sailed a cruise aboard the S.S. Sex Scandal.)

Second Scandal Note: Mason — who the Review-Journal reminds us once fibbed about being in the group the Surfaris — is certainly behaving as if his story is true.

First, he told people about it at the time, including Gibbons. Any lawyer will tell you a statement about facts made contemporaneous to the incident in question is always more reliable and valuable than one made when trying to recall an incident years later. And apparently, Mason told more than one person. Those people are now witnesses. Except Gibbons, whose credibility is subject to impeachment on his best day.

Second, according to KLAS Channel 8, the White House was involved, in the person of former White House Counsel Alberto Gonzales. Assuming Gonzales doesn’t go into “I don’t recall” mode, the way he did when Congress inquired into why he was such a crappy attorney general, might there be some evidence in the form of phone logs, e-mails, or other documents pertaining to the allegations?

Third, it’s understandable that Mason didn’t raise these allegations until now. James, after serving for several years as public printer, returned to private life in Nevada. (He’s been mentioned as a candidate for public office, but has not taken steps to get on any ballot.) Yet now, thanks to Gibbons, James is in a very public role that could lead to a bid for office, something that would rightly offend and outrage a man in Mason’s position, assuming again there is something to these allegations.

Third Scandal Note: James, however, is also behaving like an innocent person. First, he’s flatly denied the charges. An R-J news flash sent minutes ago quotes James as saying “I am not guilty of this.” If there were something to the charges, even if the situation wasn’t as bad as we’ve been led to believe, wouldn’t James be explaining himself? Instead, he’s flatly denied wrongdoing.

Second, if James did harass or behave inappropriately toward Mason’s daughter, and the White House did know, why was he allowed to stay on as public printer from 2002 until quitting in 2006? Wouldn’t the White House have been worried about an embarrassment to the president? (OK, stupid question. If the White House wasn’t embarrassed by the Iraq War and Hurricane Katrina, both of which actually killed people, why should they be worried about a little alleged sexual harassment in an obscure office?)

Fourth Scandal Note: The only way this will be resolved is with proof. Mason, a lawyer, knows this, and yet he’s been vocal and specific about his allegations. We suspect he may have a still-smoking gun.

So, Mr. Mason, the burden is now on you: The R-J has challenged your credibility, and the subject of your allegations has flatly denied them, effectively calling you (and, we must note, your daughter) liars. The next move is yours. If you have evidence, publish it, and let’s put this matter to rest once and for all, shall we?

UPDATE: A tip of our fedora to Chuck Muth whose blog gave us a link to this interesting Reno News & Review report by our colleague Dennis Myers, suggesting that perhaps John Mason was not fibbing when he said he was in the Surfaris.

1. The Mapes, a hopelessly juvenile wreckhole of a local rock band that plays songs with titles that, due to my deference to good taste and propriety, I must bowdlerize with asterisks so they are rendered variously as, “Your ***** Makes Me *****,” “******* Kind of Guy,” and “The ***** Song.” Oh, and who can forget the classic, “***** *** ******* ***** ********”?

2.The Mapes dressed variously as a) a Boy Scout, b) a horned electro-god coated in lavender fur, c) a kartoon kowboy and d) a Mexican wrestler who frequently drank from a giant whiskey flask.

3. The Mapes playing a surprisingly tuneful and well-wrought set of pop-punk gems that belies their easy gimmickry and aggressive sloppiness. In other words, a band that can’t help but be pretty damn good, which is harder than it looks.

4. The Mapes performing Saturday night at Squiggy’s on West Sahara, a bar that has pretty much taken the erstwhile Cooler Lounge crowd in its tattooed arms and happily given refugee punk rockers looking down the barrel of their mid-thirties a place to drink buckets of PBR for $6.*

5. All of the above.

*Which is awesome.