Maybe that’s the subtext of this. Or maybe I’m reading too uncharitably between the lines of this press release just sent out by the lawyer for KVBC Channel 3’s person with aerosol-stiffened, improbably pneumatic hair hired to make quasi-educated guesses about upcoming climatological events. Typos and all:

Las Vegas (April 4, 2008) - After losing his friend and on air companion Jordan in the summer of 2007, John Fredericks made the decision to adopt a new dog. On September 1, 2007, John adopted “Jordan’s Little Gift to Dad”, “L.J.” (Little Jordan) who appeared with John on the air for approximately 6 months.

There has been a great deal of public speculation and inquiries of John as to why L.J. is no longer on the air. In deference to KVBC, Channel 3, John has refrained from discussing the matter and has responded that all inquiries should be directed to station management.

However, it has come to John’s attention that statements have been made suggesting that the decision to remove L.J. from KVBC broadcasts was a decision made by John. This is not the case. L.J. was removed from the broadcast by pending the resolution of contractual terms for L.J.

John wishes his loyal viewers to know that L.J. is both happy and in good health. John wants nothing more than for L.J. to return to the broadcast, and beleives that the contractual issues resulting in the current situation will soon be resolved.

Since CityLife reported on the March 22 anti-war protest on the Strip, we’ve taken some flak for revealing that Election 2008 is nothing more than a corporate-funded, corporate-scripted variety show, designed and produced to distract “the folks” from the real damage our political overlords are doing to this country.

Well, as if from God’s lips, the Wall Street Journal (a.k.a. corporate America’s unofficial advertising agency) has the scoop on just how deeply this truth runs. According to the article, both U.S. Sens. Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama “have been cleaning [U.S. Sen. John McCain’s] clock among business interests that give mainly to Republicans.”

You know, if even corporate America is able to stir from its government-bailout-induced high and realize the neocon agenda of more war, less regulation and sophomoric fiduciary policies are flushing the good ole U.S. of A. straight down the toilet, things must actually be worse than the Mainstream Media are willing to report. As we maintain, however, it won’t really matter who lands in the White House. The Democrats and the Republicans are just two sides of the same country club.

But the story continues, “Of seven major industries that have been the most reliable Republican resources, Sen. McCain has beaten Sen. Hillary Clinton and Sen. Barack Obama in only one, according to data from the Center for Responsive Politics, a nonpartisan organization. Even that one, transportation, is a close call. Among the seven combined, the expected Republican nominee raised $13.1 million through February, compared with $22.5 million for Sen. Obama and $27.1 million for Sen. Clinton.”

For an easy-to-understand breakdown of just how many corporate rats are abandoning the U.S.S. McCain and steaming over to Clinton and Obama, go here.

Proving that we can all get along, Jar Jar Binks submits a question this week.

This town’s twisted idea of glamour sometimes impairs people’s aesthetic judgment. Especially women. Especially once those women get past a certain age. Thus, what I have dubbed, the “Vegas Lady” — a woman whose weirdness of appearance could only happen here.

This week’s example was wandering the produce aisle at the 99-cent store on East Flamingo. She was around 60, shortish and squattish, with bleached white and fried dead hair, wearing some kind of black caftan with giant multicolored scarf. Her face was devoid of eyebrows or eyelashes, but she had remedied this by drawing them on. The eyelashes were done in what looked like a Sharpie, while the eyebrows and eyeshadow were done in what seemed to be crayon or perhaps pastels — (Who knows? Maybe she used cray-pas. Not like she wasn’t old enough or seemingly pack-ratty enough to have some stashed away.) — blue-gray for the former, purple for the latter. And it was all done very large. Not quite “seen from space” large, but definitely “visible for several blocks” large.

She was dragging a red rolling suitcase and pushing a cart that had orange soda and knockoff Oreos in it while talking on her cell phone about when someone was going to pick her up after work. I pray to God it wasn’t her pimp.

Dear 17 readers of CityBlog:

Our deepest apologies for the recent outage that took CityBlog offline for two soul-wrenchingly blogless days. But we’re back online now — with a purported software upgrade at our very fingertips! — so stay tuned for a continued gush of breaking news, flippant commentary and spicy links!