As the weekend is upon us…

• Darren Mack, the Northern Nevada representative of the notorious Mack Crime Family, will spend 36 years in prison before he’s eligible for parole. We’re not sad that he’ll be in jail for about the length of a trash company franchise with Clark County, but we do find ourselves questioning our general opposition to the death penalty.
  
• The Review-Journal hopes last-man-standing John McCain becomes a conservative. (Editorial includes unintentionally hilarious quote from whoremonger and U.S. Sen. David Vitter!)
  
• Last man on, first man off, Mitt Romney bandwagon: Dean Heller. But the War Party candidates all agree: At least McCain is better than a Democrat.
  
• My colleague Jon Ralston nicely dissects the law that says John Moran III, the least competent attorney in the Moran family, should not be both a lobbyist and a member of the state Ethics Commission. (Bonus revelation: Former Republican state Treasurer Patty Cafferata, who is now the executive director of the commission, told Moran it was OK.)
  
• Oh, by the way, if the Ethics Commission wasn’t completely useless before, it sure as hell is now.
  
• For all the mistakes he makes in politics, Gov. Jim Gibbons has been eerily prescient on one issue, and one issue alone: The giant merger between UnitedHealth and Sierra Health Services. His latest missive shows he’s not going to drop it. But, true to form, in all the statements the governor has made about the issue, he’s never said he’s against it. Why not, we wonder?

We at Various Things & Stuff were flooded with e-mails after our harsh treatment of former Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney on Thursday. Well, OK, one person e-mailed us. She didn’t seem all that upset, either.

Anyway, after seeing some of the coverage of Romney’s cut-and-run speech, we’re not at all sorry for employing harsh language. For example, on The A Daily Show With Jon Stewart, the audience reacted with universal boos when Romney equated a victory by a Democrat with surrender to terrorists. Stewart, robbed of his usual crack writing team by a strike that seems like it will never end, came through in a clinch with a hearty "fuck you." Ah, the classics never die.

"Mitt Romney’s campaign never recovered from the fact that Mitt Romney is a douchebag," added analyst Jason Jones. There followed a lengthy explanation of Romney’s douchebaggery, which was far more entertaining than even Romney’s farewell speech to the obviously disappointed audience at the Conservative Political Action Committee meeting in Washington, D.C.

For more on that, check out our friend Chuck Muth’s blog. We have to say we disagree with this line: "Powerful words. And heart-breaking for Romney supporters who had no idea when they showed up this morning that their guy was stepping aside. But give the man credit; he went out with class. He put his concern for the future of the country before his own personal ambitions. You gotta respect that."

Actually, Chuck, he went out lying, the same way he campaigned. And unless they’ve redefined "class" to mean "utter duplicity," we just can’t go there with you.

Anyway, of all the words written on Romney’s exit, we most appreciate the short, succinct take offered by our friend Hugh Jackson over at the Las Vegas Gleaner, under the headline "Willard withers;"

Suspends his campaign.

It never caught on.

Not because he’s a Mormon.

Because he’s an asshole.

And that’s probably all that need be said about the matter.