Quick: Name one thing that Ron Knecht has ever done.

Oh, sorry. Ron Knecht is a former one-term assemblyman who was voted worst lawmaker in Nevada back in 2003, who managed to get himself elected to the Nevada System of Higher Education Board of Regents last year. And he’s a consultant to the Public Utilities Commission, too.

So: Can you name a single accomplishment? (Other than getting elected?)

We didn’t think you could. Be we can: Knecht is an expert at being a prick in public.

He was at it again today in the Review-Journal, delighting in the fact that he’s apparently gotten to Chancellor Jim Rogers, who suspended all giving to Nevada schools because Knecht questioned Rogers’ honesty in an official performance review.

Rogers says he’s putting the little flap behind him, although he’s still not going to donate money to the university system. (What makes us think that Rogers would change his mind quickly if the voters in Knecht’s regent district kicked Knecht to the curb in 2008? We’re just saying. Until then, however, Rogers is going to have to get used to an unpleasant fact: For good or ill, the voters have made Knecht a regent. And the regents are the boss of the chancellor.)

"I’m happy to hear that the chancellor is putting aside the personal feelings he says he has had about various matters," Knecht said in reply. "They appear to have distracted him, the system and the public for about 10 days, and it will be good to get beyond all that and move forward with what’s important to higher education in Nevada."

Oh, and there was this paragraph: "Knecht said he hopes Rogers’ personal decision to suspend donations to the system does not detract from that [health sciences system] fundraising effort."

Now, we realize that may be a bit murky, since Knecht is speaking Prickinese, an obscure dialect known only to pricks, dicks and the occasional douchebag. But with sophisticated Universal Translator© technology, we are able to read — in human language — what Knecht is really saying. Here’s a rough translation:

"I’m relevant! Oh, glorious, wonderful relevance! Jim Rogers noticed me! He said my name! He’s paying attention to me! That must mean I’m somebody! I’m important! Oh, look at me world, and see Ronald Lee Knecht in all his smarter-than-you glory!"

Now, this supports something we said earlier, which is that Rogers should keep giving money to the university system and ignore Knecht, which would be like stabbing a vampire in the heart with a wooden stake that had been dipped in garlic, garnished with the holy wafer and topped with a beautiful gold crucifix. Which is to say, bad for the vampire.

Because while Rogers may be mercurial, bossy, and sometimes downright petulant, he at least has done something with his life. He owns a string of TV stations. He’s made a lot of money. And, in his own special way, he’s trying to do something good for Nevada’s higher education system, even in that sometimes gets lost in personality conflicts.

Can Knecht say that? What’s he ever really done?

You know, besides be a prick.

» Speaking of pricks…

You know, we were all set to congratulate Jerry Lewis on a hugely successful telethon, raising a record $63.6 million for children with muscular dystrophy. The guy may be a dickhead, but he sure does good for the kids.

Then we read (and not in the cheery AP report that ran in the Review-Journal, by the way) that Lewis had dropped the anti-gay slur "faggot" during the telethon, which really surprised us. People actually watched enough of it to see Lewis perform? Who knew?

Anyway, Lewis apologized for "a bad choice of words," which is like tossing a McDonald’s hamburger wrapper into a pristine national forest and then apologizing for "a poor choice of littering materials." And while we defend all forms of free speech — including so-called "hate speech" — there are consequences.

For example, in our case, we’ll go on totally ignoring Lewis even harder than we did before. And we encourage all good-hearted people to do the same.

» Speaking of defending free speech, our good friends at the American Civil Liberties Union of Nevada are holding their annual cocktail reception from 6 p.m. to 8 a.m. p.m. Friday at Cili at the Bali Hai golf course on the south end of the Las Vegas Strip. A mere $150 gets you in the door, which is totally worth it, since this year’s honoree is founding UNLV Boyd Law School Dean Richard Morgan, who’s receiving the Emilie Wanderer Civil Liberties Award. (Morgan is being recognized for making public interest law a huge part of the law school’s curriculum and culture.) To attend, RSVP to the ACLU offices at 366-1536.

» Our friend and colleague Erin Neff proposed the unproposable: raising taxes on casinos. Is she kidding? After all, casinos only made $12.7 billion in fiscal 2006-2007, according to the Gaming Control Board. How are they supposed to stay open if their taxes go up?

(We hear, however, that those greedy schoolteachers are planning an assault on the pot o’ gold that is the gambling industry in the coming year. Man, those teachers are always bitching about not making a living wage, being at the mercy of administrators, and not having enough money in the system to do their jobs properly. Whine, whine, whine! What the hell have the schoolteachers of America ever done for the country, anyway? Hey, schoolteachers! Why don’t you pick on the business community, you know, the people who pay nothing in the way of income taxes in Nevada, huh?)

» So that’s what that quaint little town in California between Barstow and the Nevada state line is called. We’ve always wondered about it but never stopped. See, when we drive to California and back, we’re traveling so fast, that by the time the light from the sun hits the town and then reflects back to us, we’ve long since passed the place. It’s a physics thing.