We at Various Things & Stuff pride ourselves on our style. We’re very stylish. Everybody says so. And that’s why we read magazines like GQ, which cool people know is short for Gentleman’s Quarterly. (It’s really a monthly, but whatever. When you’re stylish like us, little things like that aren’t errors; they’re quirks!)

Anyway, we happened to be in a stylish bistro (OK, it was In-N-Out) perusing the latest issue when we came across a rundown of the most powerful people in Washington, D.C. And you’ll never guess who made No. 2 on the list. That’s right, our very own U.S. Sen. Harry Reid.

Now, we do have to say that the write-up could have been better. First, Reid’s looked better than he does in this photo. And the actual text that accompanied the story wasn’t super-flattering, either: "He could chose his words more carefully — and put away the cots — but his knowledge of Senate rules and his ability to keep Democrats (Democrats!) aligned make him a far more imposing majority leader than Bill Frist ever was," the magazine said.

Now that’s kind of funny, since we think Reid could be a little looser with his words. President George W. Bush is a liar? He’s a loser? OK, Harry, we’re with you. Now go for it! Say he’s a lawbreaker! A dictator! A warmongering, torture-loving, Geneva Convention-violating, human-rights ignoring junta leader! A shameless demagogue who wipes his ass with the Constitution! Now that’s what we’re talking about!

Oh, wait. Reid never said any of that, did he? That’s right: That was us. Well, feel free to borrow, sir. You may have our words for free.

Oh, and comparing Reid to Bill Frist is hardly challenging. Sen. Robert Byrd’s desk would make a better majority leader than Frist, and, as far as we know, the desk has never been accused of insider trading or claiming a comatose woman was doing fine after simply watching her on videotape. If you want to really make Reid sweat, start comparing him to giants, like, say, Master of the Senate Lyndon B. Johnson. Now that’s tough competition. (By the way, Reid’s opposite number across the aisle, Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, only made No. 11.)

By now you’ve got to be wondering who the most powerful person in Washington, D.C. is. Nope, not Bush. He’s sort of above contests like this, given that he can launch nuclear missiles or have the 82nd Airborne Division bring the pain. We’re talking mere mortals, here. And who among mortals outranked our own Harry Reid?

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, that’s who. GQ notes that, unlike her predecessor, Colin Powell, Bush trusts Rice. Then again, Rice helped him sell the war with totally made-up stories about aluminum tubes and visions of mushroom clouds. Oh, wait. So did Powell, huh? Well, maybe Bush just goes for the chicks.

Rounding out the top 10 are Defense Secretary Robert Gates at No. 3; Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy at No. 4; House Speaker Nancy Pelosi at No. 5; a trio of lobbyists at No. 6 consisting of Wayne LaPierre of the NRA, Billy Tauzin of the Pharmaceutical Research and Manufacturer’s Association, Bill Novelli of AARP and Howard Kohn of the American-Israel PAC; Vice President Dick Cheney’s new (and thus far unindicted) Chief of Staff David Addington at No. 7; U.S. Sen. Hillary Clinton at No. 8; Karl Rove at No. 9 (with a prediction that his "revenge-oriented electoral mind will be a valuable resource to the eventual GOP nominee"); and CIA Director Gen. Michael Hayden at No. 10.

But Reid wasn’t the only Nevada-connected person on the list. His ex-Chief of Staff Susan McCue, who left Reid’s office to head the ONE Campaign against global poverty and disease, ranked at No. 47. (McCue’s an old hand at power lists; she was a regular feature of Roll Call’s "Fabulous Fifty" congressional staffers, ranking in all four of the newspaper’s power categories.)

"Since taking over in January, she has used her political acumen and connections to elevate ONE’s status in D.C.," the article notes. "So if Congress passes AIDS — or poverty — related legislation or if a presidential candidate so much as mentions those issues, you can be sure that McCue was nearby, convincing Washington’s most powerful that the world’s least need help." Good on her, as our mates down under might say.

Oh, and because we, too, are ink-stained wretches, we cannot help but note the presence of several journalists and associated media types on the list. NBC’s Tim Russert was highest at No. 14; The New Yorker’s Seymour Hersh and the Washington Post’s Dana Priest shared the No. 26 spot; the Post’s Bob Woodward came in at No. 30; David Bradley, owner of the Atlantic Media Co. (publisher of The Atlantic and National Journal) came in at No. 35; Susan Glasser, managing editor for national news at the Post ranked at No. 39; The Atlantic correspondent (and fellow blogger) Andrew Sullivan got No. 46 and political cartoonist Tom Toles was No. 48.

No, we at Various Things & Stuff didn’t place, even on the Up-And-Comers list. But that’s only because we don’t live in Washington, D.C., people! Otherwise, we’d totally have kicked Russert’s ass! (Then again, No. 38 power-lister Tommy Jacomo, executive director of The Palm restaurant, says Russert’s a steak man in a sea of fish men, so more than likely, we’d just eat steak and talk about how stylish we are. Because that’s what us stylish people do.)

Yes, "Las Vegas dodged a bullet" when engineers were able to stop a train that simply rolled away from the yard, right through the center of Las Vegas all the way into North Las Vegas. So, tell us again: Why are we supposed to believe that trains carrying nuclear waste across the country to Yucca Mountain are going to be safe?

We only ask because the nondescript industrial building near McCarran International Airport where we at Various Things & Stuff do our daily typing sits just a few feet from railroad tracks, and we get to see the choo-choos drive by all the time. So, you know, we’re concerned.

» Poor Larry Craig. He (allegedly) attempts to engage in one lewd act, and he gets a reputation! And now all his Republican friends are turning on him, calling for him to quit and whatnot. We’d have some sympathy, but Republicans dish out far worse than they get back, in general, so we’d expect Craig to step down … oh, in about two days or so.

» Gasoline for $9 a gallon? War without end in the Mideast! Wrath-of-God-type stuff! The seas will boil, fire and brimstone will fall from the sky, forty years of darkness, earthquakes, human sacrifice, dogs and cats, living together. Mass hysteria!

Or at least that’s what somebody told U.S. Rep. Jon Porter would happen if we left Iraq too soon. Our view is, when they’re down to arguing that gas will be more expensive, they’ve pretty much hit the bottom of the War Party excuse barrel.

» The Las Vegas Sun wonders what else U.S. Sen. John Ensign may be thinking, but not saying, given that he waited until Attorney General Alberto Gonzales quit before he criticized the guy. We have no insight into Ensign’s mind, but we’re guessing it looks something like this: "I love little doggies."