Poor U.S. Sen. John Ensign is getting beat up by Democrats, all because he’s taking his job as the head of the National Republican Senatorial Committee very seriously. How seriously? Well, he’s targeting for defeat U.S. Sen. Tim Johnson, even though Johnson is still in the hospital recovering from an aneurysm he suffered in December.

"We don’t fear John Ensign and the national Republican hit men. It’s clear this is a classless attack by a desperate chairman," Johnson spokeswoman Julianne Fisher told Roll Call. "Tim Johnson has a long record of accomplishments for South Dakota, and those accomplishments will be John Ensign’s worst nightmare."

(Actually, Julianne, Ensign’s worst nightmare is apparently kids getting health care. But that’s not important right now.)

Now before you go calling Ensign names (for example, "the biggest prick currently living in Washington," or "a completely amoral asshole,") cut the guy some slack. He’s in charge of a political campaign committee, for God’s sake! It’s his job to win! And let’s be honest: Medical incapacitation is probably the only shot the guy has at gaining any seats at all for his War Party in next year’s election!

Besides, do the Democrats hold their fire when a Republican is sidelined by conditions that resemble mental retardation? We don’t recall many Democrats holding their tongue when U.S. Sen. Trent Lott embraced segregation. Or how about when U.S. Sen. George Allen whipped out a racial slur to describe a campaign opponent’s videographer? Not much mercy that time. And if we had a dollar for every time a Democrat had criticized President George W. Bush for having the mind of a child, we’d be wealthy beyond the wildest dreams of avarice!

So we say, give poor John Ensign a break. After all, the guy isn’t just targeting Johnson in the election. He’s also praying for Johnson’s full recovery. (You know, so he can be up and around to savor his defeat at Ensign’s hands.) If that’s not Christian love triumphing over politics, well, we don’t know what is.

Let Johnson challengers such as South Dakota state Rep. Joel Dykstra be a full-on pussies and refrain from commenting on Johnson, believing it would be "unseemly." Johnson, thanks to some friends, is gathering campaign cash. "We’re not going to unilaterally disarm," Ensign told Roll Call. And again: "It’s time. … He was a top target before his health problems, and he’s still a top target."

Now that’s the kind of cold, calculating, balls-out amorality that America needs in, say, it’s vice president. Total douches like incumbent Dick Cheney don’t grow on trees, you know.

» A guy from Northern Nevada who curiously shares the name of a man who used to be secretary of state — Dean Heller — took a two-day Iraqi vacation and came home to declare that the United States "spent four years trying to figure out what we’re going to do in Iraq."

Seriously, will these critics of President Bush never stop? This Heller fellow spent two days in Iraq and basically returns to say that Bush, Cheney, former Secretary of Defense Don Rumsfeld and all the senior war planners in Washington D.C. had no clue what they were doing? Hasn’t this Heller person heard that we’re making "substantial progress"? Cheney told Larry King that the other night, for God’s sake!

Look, Mr. Heller, whoever you are: This is America. Love it or leave it!

» What? Gov. Jim Gibbons admitted he ordered the U.S. attorney for Nevada and the FBI to harass Dennis Montgomery, the man suing his secret-cruise trip benefactor Warren Trepp, say court papers uncovered by the Review-Journal? The claim comes in a motion filed by Montgomery’s side, you say? And they refer to other court papers that are still secret, and we’re not even sure who filed those?

No, that’s not a front-page story. Let’s put it on Page 1B. You know, to be safe.

» At last, they’ve done it!

Regular readers know that, from time to time, we’ve critiqued the Review-Journal’s Living section. You know, we’ve said some of its writers are lame, uninspired, repetitive or just downright boring.

But those clever bastards have finally come up with the solution we’ve been looking for, a way to avoid the grimace that inevitably comes when they put a story about summer arts and crafts for the kids on the cover. Of the features section. Of the largest newspaper of the entertainment capital of the world.

Cat pictures!

Most people, including us at Various Things & Stuff, love cats. They are cute and smart and, according to ancient Egyptians, guardians of the underworld. And they are the perfect thing to solve the R-J’s ongoing creative crisis.

Instead of taxing the talents of the staff, just publish cat pictures every day! The paper said they got a ton of cat pictures in response to an obviously desperate solicitation. (You can see some online here.)

So, there’s no need to search for the next big story about, oh, amusement rides that have been open forever, or cures for the pressing medical problem of "brain freeze," or pillows to keep you from snoring (handy when reading this part of the paper!) or cool places to go in summer. (All of these are actual stories published in the R-J.) Just run cat pictures, all the time!

What will the staff do, now that they’ll really only need one person to select a few daily cat pictures? Well, why don’t we just tell everybody that they went to live on a farm…?

» And finally today, we’ve been neglectful in thanking the Las Vegas Sun for its story on brothel advertisements recently. Although our friends at the Greenspun Media Empire plan to decline ads from houses of prostitution, they were nice enough to include CityLife in the write-up as a paper with no problem running that kind of advertisement.

And, since they’ve actually gone so far as to mention CityLife in the Sun, we’ve got to renew our question once again: Can the paper please tell its readers that they can catch "Ask A Mexican," the provocative opinion column on all issues Latino, in the pages of our newspaper? The Sun ran an entire story July 3 on author Gustavo Arellano without mentioning where his work appears locally.

Of course, we immediately dashed off a letter to the editor, but it was never published! And as of tomorrow, it will have been 31 days since the newspaper made its mistake, and ignored our desperate plea for clarification. Las Vegas Sun, publish our letter! The people have a right to know!

The Las Vegas city attorney’s office may have weighed in. The state Ethics Commission may have weighed in. Other pundits may have weighed in. But the final word in matters ethical can only come from the brilliant legal minds here at Various Things & Stuff, which today takes up the case of In re: Las Vegas Councilman Steve Ross. Court is now in session!

Facts

Steve Ross is, and at all times relevant to this matter was, an elected city councilman for the city of Las Vegas, representing the northwest portion of the city currently organized and known as Ward 6. He is paid $45,000 per year for that job, and his current term extends until 2009.

In his capacity as a city councilman, he is frequently called upon to deny or approve construction projects, including zoning, re-zoning, master-plan amendments, appeals of adverse decisions rendered by the city’s planning and building departments, as well as review and oversee city-financed construction projects.

Ross is also a journeyman wireman, who formerly worked for an electrical contracting business owned by his wife. In that capacity, he is a member in good standing of the International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers, a trade union. The International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers Local 357, is a constituent union of the Southern Nevada Building and Construction Trades Council.

On Monday, Ross stood for, and was elected to, the position of secretary-treasurer of the Southern Nevada Building and Construction Trades Council, a position that requires, among other things, lobbying for the union and the use of union labor in construction projects in Southern Nevada. That job pays a salary of approximately $100,000 per year.

Arguments

An elected position on the Las Vegas City Council is an office of trust and profit under the state of Nevada. As such, it requires diligent adherence to ethical behavior. Elected officials in such offices must place their personal, family and business obligations beneath those of the commonweal for the duration of their tenure in office.

Elected officials in Nevada must, by law, avoid conflicts of interest, or, at the very least, minimize them to every extent possible. (SEE, NRS 281.421)

Ross was aware of the job duties and responsibilities of an elected Las Vegas city councilman when he ran for the position in 2005. Such duties include, but are not limited to, representing the residents of his district on matters of public concern, including but not limited to building projects within his ward.

Prior to Monday, Ross had no conflicts between his elected position on the City Council and his private trade, that of a journeyman wireman, unless his wife’s company was directly involved in a project that for some reason would come before the City Council for review or approval.

Subsequent to Monday, however, Ross now faces a conflict between his interests as a city councilman and his interests as secretary-treasurer of the Southern Nevada Building and Construction Trades Council.

The conflict came about as a direct result of Ross own actions, in choosing to stand for election to the position of secretary-treasurer of the Southern Nevada Building and Construction Trades Council.

Therefore, Ross has violated his affirmative duty to minimize conflicts in that:

a.) He sought a position that would tend to increase conflicts, rather than avoid or minimize them.

b.) He now faces actual, rather than hypothetical or theoretical conflicts, from which he may be required to abstain, thus denying his constituents representation on the Las Vegas City Council and putting them at a disadvantage with respect to their quality of life.

For example, according to the Review-Journal (see link above), a neighborhood casino is planned for Ross’ ward, which casino will provide potential jobs for members of the Southern Nevada Building and Construction Trades Council. Prior to his election as secretary-treasurer of that organization, Ross would have been able to fully participate in the debate over the approval of this project, and to represent the voices of his constituents, some of whom are vocally opposed to the construction of this project.

But now Ross’ views, whether positive or negative, may not be heard. To wit:

If he abstains from voting on the neighborhood casino project because of the direct financial interest his union may have in persuading the casino’s builders to use union labor on the project, his views — whether positive or negative — will not be heard.

If he participates in the discussion, and votes in the affirmative, he can credibly be accused of a conflict of interest within the meaning of NRS 281.481, specifically NRS 281.481(2) and NRS 281.481(3). Moreover, this will tend to cause residents of Ward 6 who oppose the construction of the neighborhood casino to conclude that Ross voted because of his position with the Southern Nevada Building Trades and Construction Council, and for no other reason, which tends to decrease the public’s faith in its government.

However, if he participates in the discussion and votes in the negative, he can still be credibly accused of a conflict of interest with the above-referenced statutes, and in addition could be in violation of the fealty expected by the Southern Nevada Building and Construction Trades Council in its newly elected secretary-treasurer.

Therefore, the only proper course of action for Ross was to abstain — for the duration of his term as an elected city councilman for the city of Las Vegas — from seeking or accepting any outside employment which would tend to increase conflicts of interest rather than minimize them. By failing to do so, Ross has failed in his statutory duty as en elected official.

Conclusion and order

City Council members are part-time lawmakers, most of whom maintain outside employment to supplement the income from their elected job. The voters of the state of Nevada have concluded it is their preference to maintain a citizen, rather than a professional, full-time, city council.

However, elected officials are obligated to minimize conflicts between their elected position and their private interests. This may, in many cases, require them to forgo a financial or occupational opportunity in order to maintain fealty to the commonweal, or, in the alternative, to resign their elected position in order to pursue such financial or occupational opportunity.

By actively seeking a position which cannot help but tend to create conflicts of interest where none before existed, and to pursue an elected position with the Southern Nevada Building and Construction Trades Council, which position is financially lucrative, Ross has placed his public duties beneath his private interests. This goes directly against the stated policy of the state of Nevada.

THEREFORE, it is our finding and order that:

a.) Ross must immediately resign as secretary-treasurer of the Southern Nevada Building and Construction Trades Council, and seek no further position with that or any similar group, for the duration of his term as an elected member of the Las Vegas City Council, or, in the alternative, that,

b.) Ross must immediately resign as an elected city councilman for the city of Las Vegas.

c.) Any opinion in conflict with this decision and order is null and void, as it ignores the laws of the state of Nevada, self-evident ethical precepts and common sense.

IT IS SO ORDERED,

Aug. 2, 2006

Las Vegas, Nevada