But we’re back in action today, and able to report this: Late Wednesday afternoon, the Senate Finance Committee and the Assembly Ways & Means Committee hammered out their differences on a state budget, which will be voted on in the Senate and Assembly shortly. (Alas, other, less technologically hindered news outlets have already reported that.)

We noticed the committees’ action since the meeting dragged on long enough to delay for about an hour the scheduled start of Third House, the biennial, press-sponsored spoof of the Legislature that takes place in the Assembly chambers.

(We at Various Things & Stuff had a minor role in said production, but the real stars were my colleagues Jon Ralston [as Gov. Jim Gibbons] and KLAS-TV Channel 8 reporter Jonathan Humbert [as Johnny Carson]. Those skits killed. And, if the laughter meter was any indicator, nobody likes Gibbons.

Anyway, with that deal and something that seems to be brewing today on transportation, it appears that the Legislature might end on time after all, for the first time in eight years, and only the second time lawmakers have met the constitutionally imposed deadline since it was imposed in 1999.

Yipee!

• With deals on the budget and maybe transportation done or nearly done, it’s time to sound the bell for pork, baby! According to a list of proposed projects we obtained when someone handed it to us, there are millions of dollars in proposed “one shot” funds being wrangled over between Gibbons and the so-called “core group” of key lawmakers doing most of the negotiating this session.

Thus far, it looks like it’s the core group that’s being more conservative than Gibbons, dropping a proposed $2.5 million for High Sierra Industries to $1 million, and a proposed $12 million for Opportunity Village to $3 million. Under the core group’s plan, the Lou Ruvo Brain Institute would get $3 million, not $10 million as the governor had recommended in his budget. The Nevada Cancer Institute would see its funding fall from $10 million to $5 million, under the proposal. And those are just cuts in 2007; there are similar reductions in 2008 and 2009.

All told, the governor recommended spending $40.9 million in 2007, while the core group recommends $15.4 million. In 2008, the governor asked for $13.6 million, but the core group cut that to $6 million. And in 2009, the core group proposes halving the governor’s $5 million request.

How will things finally come out? For that, readers, you’ll have to wait until sine die.

• Holy irony, Batman!

Gibbons signed some bills on Wednesday, not least of which was Senate Bill 118, a bill to give Nevada oversight of mercury transported to the Hawthorne Army Depot, where the Defense Logistics Agency is consolidating all the nation’s military mercury. (Eventually, there will be 4,200 tons stored there.)

Gibbons did fight when he was in Congress to keep the Hawthorne Army Depot from falling under the base-closing axe. So why, you might wonder, is there irony in Gibbons signing a regulatory bill for oversight at the depot?

Because Gibbons is the co-author of an infamous report that said mercury isn’t that bad for you, and even if it is, volcanoes are to blame anyway! So why, if mercury isn’t so bad, would it need to be brought under the regulatory apparatus of the state, thus, in the words of a Gibbons news release, “…ensuring that Nevadans are protected against accidental releases to the environment.”?

Gibbons explains: “The health of Nevadans and our state’s environment have been our top concerns,” the governor said in his statement. “The legislation allows state inspectors the ability to ensure the mercury is being stored safely. It will protect Walker Lake and the people who live nearby while allowing the Hawthorne Army Depot to fortify itself against any future efforts to close the facility.”

So maybe mercury might be bad for us, after all? But this statement does raise a question: If it’s OK to store stuff that’s bad for us in government facilities, in order to keep them open, why is Gibbons against Yucca Mountain again?

• We heard rumors that the New York Times was preparing a big story on Gibbons, but we had bigger expectations of the piece by Jennifer Steinhauer was finally published. It didn’t reveal new info, or snatch the story away from the Wall Street Journal — which has owned Gibbons/federal investigation news since it first broke word that the FBI was investigating him for using his former job in Congress to help Northern Nevada defense contractors.

Still, it does hit all the highlights: the FBI, the veto threats over petty items (which, by the way, the governor later backed away from), the low poll ratings, the plagiarized speech in Elko, the Chrissy Mazzeo incident, the first lady’s pricey inaugural ball gown, and the alcohol ban at the governor’s mansion. It sums with this forgettable quote from Assembly Majority Leader John Oceguera: “How do I give you a politically correct answer? He has a leadership style that is different than I am familiar with.”

Our question: What would possess a member of the opposition party to want to be politically correct in the first place? And surely Oceguera has been in the Legislature long enough to become familiar with the leadership style known as "the FUBAR principle."

• And finally today, we are told by a prominent lobbyist that several people have expressed a disdain for a certain hat that we at Various Things & Stuff don for our outdoor adventures. We won’t play the guilt card — we need the hat to avoid future incidents of skin cancer. But we will suggest a course of action for those who don’t like what our Marine friends call our “cover:” First, take a number. Second, get in line. Third, when it’s your turn, kiss our ass! And have a nice day.