It’s Thursday afternoon, and our desk is piled high with papers. But we’ve still got time to whip up a few quick hits for your enjoyment. Here we go!

• We just don’t get the “scandal” surrounding the latest revelations about our own U.S. Sen. Harry Reid. We’ve read through — twice! — the Associated Press story that was published on the front page of the Review-Journal, and we can’t figure out where this is as bad as, say, trying to seduce a teenager via instant message.

Don’t get us wrong: We’ve been a big critic of Reid when we think he’s really done something wrong. But this time around, we don’t think the violation uncovered by the AP is all that serious.

Consider:

Reid bought some land, and reported the purchase and ownership.

Reid owned the land, and it appeared on his annual disclosure report. While he owned it, he paid taxes on it.

Reid sold the land, and reported the sale and the profits.

The only thing Reid didn’t do was report the transfer of the land from his personal holdings to a limited-liability corporation formed by Reid and attorney Jay Brown, a longtime friend of Reid’s.

Do the rules require Reid to disclose his transfer, and his participation in the LLC? It looks that way. So, yes, Reid didn’t follow the law in that case, and ought to file an amended disclosure.

But beyond that, the senator reported everything there was to report. And since public knowledge of the transactions is the point of the law, we think Reid substantially complied with its intent.

One thing’s for sure, this isn’t Watergate. Or Iraq. Or Katrina. Or North Korea. Or Abramoff. Or Foley. Or Valerie Plame. Or insider trading on health care stocks. Or a giant tax giveaway to oil companies while they’re posting record profits. Or … well, you get the idea.

• When we saw that the Las Vegas Chamber of Commerce had invited national drug czar John Walters to town, we couldn’t help wondering if they knew they were pawns in Walters ongoing campaign against the will of the people. Then we realized that this is the group against increasing the minimum wage, so of course they’d make common cause against the will of the people.

For those who don’t know, Walters is the head of the Office of National Drug Control Policy, and his favorite pastime is using your tax dollars to lobby you to do things the government wants you to do. Back in 2002, Walters promised the Review-Journal editorial board (of which we were then a part) that he wouldn’t campaign against a ballot measure aimed at legalizing three ounces of marijuana.

Of course, he immediately began campaigning on that very issue. And when Secretary of State Dean Heller tried to demand that he file the paperwork required of everybody who campaigns in Nevada, Walters refused.

And now, there’s an initiative to legalize just one ounce of marijuana on the ballot. True to form, Walters is back to do some more campaigning.

We wondered if Walters would trot out his old lies, such as the “fact” that 60 percent of the seven million Americans who need drug treatment are addicted to marijuana. Or the old saw about marijuana alters the “brain chemistry” of teens.

Or would they be all-new lies? (They’ll be lies, sure enough, because you can’t have a drug war without lies.

So, let’s look at what came out of the gathering, via a news release from our friends at the chamber.

“Walters … spoke to approximately 100 community and business leaders about the negative impact legalizing marijuana would have on Nevada, and he denounced pro-drug groups that are propagating the myth that marijuana use is not dangerous,” the release says.

Yes, marijuana use is very dangerous. Each year, marijuana kills millions, via drunken driving, liver problems and toxicity poisoning in college dorms. Oh, no, wait, that’s alcohol, which presently is legal for adults to enjoy. And if alcohol is worse than marijuana and is also legal, then it stands to reason that marijuana should be legal. But it’s not, for reasons that are generally a pile of bullshit.

Let’s see what else the chamber said.

“Christina Dugan, vice president-public affairs of the Las Vegas Chamber of Commerce, made it clear that the chamber is strongly against any effort to legalize marijuana. She noted that in addition to the devastating effects drugs have on families, drug use also creates a significant loss to businesses.

“‘By legalizing marijuana in our state, not only would more people be inclined to try marijuana due to its new legal status, it would also create a myriad of problems for businesses in loss of productivity and competitiveness as well as increasing liability and exposure to lawsuits,’ Dugan said.”

Oh, yes, we forgot! All of us working stiffs are the property of our employers, and must never do anything — even on our own time — that might negatively impact the bottom line of our bosses! Why, going out on a weeknight and drinking heavily and then calling in sick the next day is the exact same thing as stealing from your company! Then again, alcohol use is legal, and it hurts productivity way more than marijuana.

Want more? OK, why not.

“Dugan noted a National Institute of Drug Abuse study of postal workers found that employees who tested positive for marijuana on a pre-employment urine screening had 55 percent more industrial accidents, 85 percent more injuries and a 75 percent increase in absenteeism compared with those who tested negative for marijuana use.”

Oh, my God! A study has proven that marijuana totally causes industrial accidents, injuries and absenteeism! Or does it?

Just a couple of questions: If these people tested positive for marijuana, why did the post office hire them anyway? And if they were absent so much, why didn’t they get fired? And could it be that they just didn’t like their jobs and didn’t show up? Do we know they were getting high?

Of course we don’t. And let us just toss this little fact out at you: Right now, right here in Las Vegas there are TONS of people who are rocking the ganja with great regularity. You don’t know who they are to look at them, because they show up for work, do their jobs, pay taxes and contribute to society. The fact that they like to get high on a plant versus hard drugs, booze or religion is irrelevant. Only in films like Reefer Madness, media campaigns from the drug czar and in news releases from the chamber do we find that marijuana smokers are dangerous and a threat to the very capitalist system that’s at the heart of our democracy.

One more quote?

“‘Marijuana adversely affects alertness, concentration, perception, coordination and reaction time. All of these play an important role in productivity and decision making abilities,’ Dugan said. “In short, passing Question 7 to legalize marijuana is bad for business. The Chamber urges all Nevadans to vote no on Question 7.’”

Replace “marijuana” with “alcohol” in that sentence, and ask yourself why the chamber isn’t campaigning for an initiative to outlaw booze. Oh, wait, some big booze-related businesses are chamber members, right? OK, forget ever seeing a move to ban booze, which is far worse than marijuana.

Hey, we’ve got it! Once marijuana is legalized, and big marijuana farms are built, they should join the chamber! If they are big enough, and contribute enough, they can actually set chamber policy, the way banks and other big businesses did in the great tax fight of 2003!

And finally, the kicker:

“Walters and Dugan were joined by Sandy Heverly, executive director of STOP DUI and Gary Thompson, whose wife, the late Las Vegas Sun journalist Sandy Thompson, was killed by a marijuana-impaired driver.”

Let us just say, we worked for Thompson at the Sun, and found her to be a kind-hearted, sensitive boss who cared about the community and especially kids. If she were alive today, we’re sure she’d be campaigning against it.

But how many times is a marijuana-addled driver involved in a driving-related fatal car crash, versus, say, alcohol? It’s a pretty low number. Yet alcohol is legal, while marijuana isn’t. (And, might we add, the ballot initiative in question would add pretty harsh penalties for driving under the influence that results in a death.)

Folks, here’s our advice, as if you really need it: Ignore the drug czar. Ignore the chamber. Ask yourself if you really think that the state should tell its citizens they can or cannot ingest a particular drug, and a drug that’s less harmful than already-legalized drugs, at that. Does that make sense? If not, vote yes. If it does, make sure your chamber membership is paid up.

• And columnist Jon Ralston thinks he’s the source for all the Review-Journal’s breaking news? No way, buddy. CityLife also serves as a tip sheet for Nevada’s largest newspaper.

• He’s not gone yet! Vegas PBS Channel 10’s Mitch Fox may be contemplating retirement after two decades at the helm of Nevada Week in Review, but before he goes, he’s taking a look at ballot initiatives. Tune in at 8 p.m. tonight to learn more.

• And finally today, a program note. We at Various Things & Stuff are headed to beautiful California, to experience some R&R amid all the red-taped regulation, taxing and spending and bureaucratic lack of accountability that Jim Gibbons hates so much. We’ll return, hopefully rested, on Tuesday. Have a great weekend, and all you political candidates make sure to play nice while we’re gone.