• When will it end? First the U.S. Surgeon General put out a report that says a mere whiff of secondhand smoke will instantly give you cancer, and now the American Cancer Society is saying tobacco use will kill a billion people this century alone.

And yet, in dropping somebody off at the airport, we still saw plenty of people. Can’t some of them take up smoking? Pretty please? Especially taxi drivers. Those assholes will honk at you for doing something that they themselves do on a regular basis.

Only kidding. We don’t really want to go on a genocidal tobacco-fueled smoking purge at the airport. Besides, they already banned smoking there.

But trust us, people. There is a local, national and global effort underway to ban tobacco. We predict it will become a controlled substance in short order, as the health consequences get more play. The old-fashioned notion that people should be allowed to assess risks and engage in unhealthy behaviors if they so choose will fall to the notion that society has an overriding interest in keeping people alive.

And thus, prepare to eventually say goodbye to delicious burgers and pizza, high-fructose corn syrup-sweetened soft drinks, Doritos and steaks sizzling in butter. Prepare to be forced to wear helmets while driving, body armor while skateboarding and to drive hybrid cars with speed governors set at 35 mph. All scissors will be blunt, sharp, meat-cutting kitchen knives won’t be necessary (since we’ll all be vegetarians) and we’ll all have an hour of mandatory exercise per day.

Can’t wait for that future. Pass that box of Romeo y Julieta cigars, will you? Maybe we can go out in a cloud of glory…

• So city marshals arrested a trio of homeless people for being in Huntridge Circle park before it officially opened at 7 a.m.? Who knew city parks even had hours?

We wonder what would happen if a neighborhood resident, troubled by insomnia, had taken an early morning walk, and chose to sit down in the park to contemplate life. Would this taxpaying citizen have been arrested? Not very likely, which makes us wonder if the city is denying to certain persons within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.

“We’re going to help those who can’t help themselves and run those (homeless people) who are able-bodied and sound of mind out of our community,” Mayor Oscar Goodman told the Review-Journal. “I want potential violators to know, the mayor means business.”

Which raises an interesting question: Potential violators of what? Laws that say able-bodied, sound-of-mind people can’t sit in a park if they so choose? Laws that say able-bodied, sound-of-mind homeless people can’t come to Las Vegas?

You know, when Goodman first announced his run for office, standing in the atrium of his law office holding a copy of the U.S. Constitution, we thought he’d be many things. A prick wasn’t among them. Alas, he’s earned that title by using the aforementioned Constitution less as a guidepost to his governance and more as toilet paper.

And that’s going to be a big part of his legacy.