No good deed goes unpunished.

No sooner do we issue a seldom-heard word of praise for U.S. Rep. Jon Porter for casting a good vote than Porter goes and does something truly evil.

According to The Associated Press, Porter and his cohort, U.S. Rep. Jim Gibbons, both voted “aye” on H.R. 4761, the so-called Deep Ocean Energy Resources Act. Written by first-term U.S. Rep. Bobby Jindal, R-La., the bill would allow offshore drilling from Florida to Alaska.

And you know what lies between Florida and Alaska, if you follow the coastline? California, our beloved homeplace.

But wait, there’s more. Porter and Gibbons didn’t just vote for this vile piece of legislation. No, also co-sponsored it, along with 138 others.

Now, we’re old enough to remember the dark day of Feb. 7, 1990, when the British Petroleum tanker American Trader spilled 400,000 gallons of Alaskan crude oil into the water off our hometown, the great city of Huntington Beach, Calif. The tanker ran over its own anchor, spilling its cargo over 60 square ocean miles, and the beaches were closed for five weeks. Not only that, but the Bolsa Chica wetlands nearby were fouled, and the government estimated 3,400 birds died, including some endangered species.

BP ultimately paid $3.8 million to settle pollution-related damage claims, and another $16 million to the state for tourism-related losses. But the money didn’t cover the damage done to pristine wetlands that activists have struggled for years to protect from encroaching development, nor the damage to some of California’s most beautiful coastline.

And now Porter, Gibbons and their Republican friends want to start drilling and not just pumping oil offshore? Those unspeakable bastards! Instead of pursuing a real energy policy, they’re adjusting a straw to suck up the last drops of Coke from the bottom of a McDonald’s cup! Oh, when will these constant indignities end?

Major props to U.S. Rep. Shelley Berkley for standing up against this nonsense, as well as to California U.S. Reps. Jane Harman, Lorretta and Linda Sanchez, Nancy Pelosi, Henry Waxman and many others who voted “nay,” too. Shame, eternal, unending shame, be upon the head of U.S. Rep. Dana Rohrabacher, who represents Huntington Beach and yet voted for this bill anyway. Remember the American Trader, Rohrabacher, you tool!

Luckily, the House isn’t the final word in this matter. Now this bill goes to the Senate, where we implore U.S. Sen. Harry Reid to strangle it in its crib. And with the high-wattage power of U.S. Sens. Diane Feinstein and Barbara Boxer on his side, this ill-considered proposal is sure to rest in Davy Jones locker, where, by the way, we should not drill for oil.

Right, senators?

• Why does U.S. Rep. Jim Gibbons hate people?

We only ask because Gibbons, hiding out in Washington D.C. to avoid the likes of Bob Beers and Lorraine Hunt, cast a vote against a measure that would have protected medical marijuana users from federal prosecution. The vote on HR 5672 failed 163-259. (Thanks, Republican Congress!)

The importance of this bill cannot be understated: The U.S. government has already gone after people growing and using medical marijuana in states where voters have legalized the practice. Remember the old Republican rule: States rights only apply on non-moral issues. So even if the residents of Nevada (or any of the other 10 states where it’s been approved) say it’s OK for sick and dying people to alleviate their suffering with a little weed, Republicans like Gibbons just don’t care.

The issue is so obviously clear that even U.S. Rep. Jon Porter voted for it, along with ever-reliable U.S. Rep. Shelley Berkley. And Porter almost always follows the Republican leadership’s lead! For all those who say we at Various Thing & Stuff never say anything good about Porter, let us take this opportunity to commend and thank the congressman for casting a courageous and morally upright vote.

As for Gibbons, we don’t need his kind of big government, big regulation kind of politics here in the ever-pioneer state of Nevada! We want intelligent, independent leadership for our future. Keep your laws off our bodies, Gibbons!

If only there was some way we could get that kind of leadership.

• So Democratic challenger David Adams is saying Assembly District 11 incumbent Bob McCleary offered him a $500 bribe to get out of the race? Adams originally accepted, but then decided to run anyway and didn’t cash the check (which he proudly displayed for the Review-Journal for today’s editions).

Our question: Should this be wrong? Think about all the truly awful candidates we could eliminate with a few greenbacks. Impeached Controller Kathy Augustine held on to her job through an entire impeachment, in part, because of the $80,000 salary. Maybe a check would have made her go away? Lonnie Hammargren’s increasingly pathetic bid for his old job, lieutenant governor, might be ended with a donation to the Stuff Lonnie Keeps in the Backyard Fund. And grifters Erin Kenny and Dario Herrera might never have entered public life if we just handed them a hefty sack of cash, instead of allowing them into political office so they could grab a hefty sack of cash.

Just a thought.

• And finally today, we turn to the ironic.

It seems Focus on the Family founder James Dobson is aroused (in a non-sexual way, of course) by the “American Values Agenda” proposed by the House Republican leadership in a desperate attempt to change the subject from corporate coddling and corruption. (Hey, look, it worked! Dobson’s on board!)

In his aroused state, Dobson uttered this: “The House leaders are to be commended for demonstrating their commitment to the issues American families hold dear: marriage, life, and freedom of religion. The announcement of the ‘American Values Agenda’ and its 10 priority bills signals that the GOP leadership in the House is in touch with the concerns of the values voters who sent them to Washington.”

He goes on to bash the Senate for failing to pass bills against gay marriage and flag burning, two national issues that are every bit as pressing as, say, coming up with an energy policy or defeating global terrorism.

But notice something: Dobson said “freedom of religion,” yet he wants the Senate to enact a key tenet of his religion, which is banning gay marriage. (The flag worship thing has us confused, too. Doesn’t the Bible say not to make graven images and worship them? We’re just saying.)

So, you might say, Dobson is a hypocrite! But that’s just not true, people. He said “freedom of religion.” You’re allowed to pick any one you want. Go ahead, there are a lot to choose from. But you have to pick one. Hear that, atheists and agnostics? Get with the program! And then we can all march forward and make sure that no boys kiss. (Girls kissing is different; those Girls Gone Wild videos make major bank, and that falls under the whole “capitalism is good” rubric of the American Values Agenda.)