Oh, please.

That’s our reaction after reading the Official Reason for the Bowing Out of Attorney General George Chanos. It’s been on many other blogs, but let’s reprint it for you here:

“When Governor Kenny Guinn appointed me attorney general I was honored at the opportunity to serve my fellow Nevadans. This office is a position where an individual can make a tremendous difference for the people of Nevada; however, it is also a position which requires a tremendous amount of time and obligation.

“As I have served I have realized that the commitment required to successfully do the job, while campaigning to keep it, prevents me from being the father and husband that I need — and want — to be.

“My first priority is to my family and however important the position of attorney general, my role as a father and husband is far more essential. While I will not be on the ballot in November I will continue to serve the people of Nevada as Attorney General with complete dedication until the completion of my term in January 2007.”

Some questions:

1.) How did Chanos, allegedly a smart guy, not realize that the job of attorney general, to say nothing of the rigors of campaigning for that job, was going to take a lot of time away from his family?

2.) In fact, Chanos was spending a lot of time with his family — at least that was the reason he gave for only rarely visiting the Carson City office, where the AG works. Or is family the fallback for every tough question?

One group that’s not questioning Chanos’ official explanation is the Nevada Republican Party, which had this to say:

“As the party of family values, the Nevada Republican Party understands and respects AG George Chanos’ decision not to run for election as attorney general. Since there are a multitude of excellent potential Republican candidates, all of whom are more qualified than the announced democrat candidate, the NRP is confident that Republicans will retain the office of attorney general in the November election.”

Leave aside the obvious slur against Catherine Cortez Masto, who is eminently qualified to hold the AG’s post. The “party of family values” is apparently ready to give Chanos a pass without really delving into his explanation.

But who would question it? Who would be so cynical, so anti-family values, so downright mean?

World, meet us.

Let’s turn to a story by Carson City Associated Press bureau chief (and all-around great guy) Brendan Riley. It is here that the truth emerges:

“But Chanos said that since his appointment he has realized he has no stomach for partisan politics, doesn’t like the ‘fishbowl’ existence of a statewide elective official and wants to spend more time with his family than his state post would allow.

“‘I just don’t believe that politics is the right field for me to be in,’ Chanos said, adding that he’s confident he could win this year but wouldn’t want to get elected and then ‘back out after I do win.’”

Oh, so in addition to pursuing his “family values,” Chanos didn’t like the scrutiny that comes with being the state’s chief law enforcement officer. Interesting. Let’s read more.

“Regarding his privacy, Chanos said, ‘I knew going into this position that I would sacrifice some degree of privacy, but I never really expected the level of coverage that I would receive.’

“‘I never expected it would affect me the way it did. I thought I would enjoy public exposure, and it turns out I really don’t enjoy it. I don’t like it at all,’ he said.

“‘I don’t want to be on the front page of the paper,’ he added. ‘I don’t want to walk out my front door to get the morning paper and wonder if I’m in it.’”

So now we’re seeing a clearer picture. Chanos jumped into political life thinking he’d eat up the attention of an adoring public and press, only to find that his decisions can be questioned, and not-so-nice things may be written about him. (A cynic — which we are — would say that if you don’t make the bad calls, you won’t get negative attention on the front page of the paper. But that’s sort of beside the point now.)

More? OK, since you asked.

“Chanos also said there’s too much partisanship in politics, at both the national and state levels, for him — although he has a lot of respect for others, both Democrats and Republicans, who ‘have the personality and disposition that allows them to succeed in that environment.’

“‘But I simply don’t have that personality and disposition,’ he said. ‘I tend to want more immediate results and tend to not back down from a fight, and I think that politics requires more patients [patience?] and more willingness to compromise.’”

But when it came to the immediate results that come with an election, Chanos did back down from a fight. Rather quickly, we might add.

The coup de grace from Riley’s piece: “Chanos singled out state Assembly Majority Leader Barbara Buckley, D-Las Vegas, as the type of politician he couldn’t work with, even calling her ‘bad for Nevada.’ Buckley and Chanos harshly criticized one another in a recent controversy over importing low-priced Canadian drugs, with Buckley pushing the idea and Chanos saying federal law prohibited the imports.”

Hey, at least Buckley puts her ideas and her record before the voters every two years. Chanos isn’t even going to do that once. And when you consider that Buckley was right about the prescription drug controversy and Chanos was wrong, it makes that comment all the more pathetic.

Our conclusion? Chanos may very well want to spend more time with his family, but the real reason he’s not going to run is that he ducked into the kitchen, found it was too hot for his liking and ducked out. So now the focus shifts: Which Republican will win the chance to go up against Cortez Masto?

Just a wee helping of Quick Hits, fresh from the oven:

• Wisconsin state Rep. Scott Jensen, a Republican, is facing 15 years in prison and a $35,000 fine after being convicted of using state employees on state time for political purposes.

Hmm, where have we heard that before? Oh, that’s right: Our very own Controller Kathy Augustine admitted to doing the exact same thing before the state Ethics Commission! (She was later impeached and convicted for using state property to aid her campaign, although two other, more serious, charges were dismissed.)

The difference? Augustine only got a $15,000 fine and a stern talking-to from the state Senate. She’s currently running for higher office, and saying she did nothing wrong.

Sigh. It must be nice to live in a state where they’re tough on political crime…

• It finally happened! Supporters of Henderson Mayor Jim Gibson outnumbered supporters of state Sen. Dina Titus at a Democratic event!

Then again, Gibson paid the $75 fee for his people to come to the Clark County Democratic Convention this weekend, where they donned Superman-themed T-shirts and cheered for the inevitable runner-up in the Democratic gubernatorial primary.

Not to be out-lamed, Titus’ crew — all of whom paid their own way — showed up with a box of green rocks labeled “Kryptotitus,” as in Kryptonite, the only material in the universe that can bring Superman down.

We hear that at the state Democratic convention, Gibson’s going to dress up as Captain America, while Titus will come as Wonder Woman, using the golden lasso to force Gibson to reveal how much he really made as CEO of the Las Vegas Monorail.

How many days until the primary again?

• It had to happen. The city of Las Vegas spent $5.5 million buying up old, rundown houses on the east side of Las Vegas Boulevard, anticipating an expansion of City Hall. And now, officials are looking at building an entirely new City Hall elsewhere.

Which means that you city of Las Vegas taxpayers are now the proud owners of some seriously crappy real estate.

The worst thing? The city was toying with the idea of building a new City Hall elsewhere when the land purchases were made, which means the City Council knew at the time the money might be wasted. But, since it’s not their money, who cares, right?

Hey, City Council, maybe golf course mogul Bill Walters will build a miniature golf course on the property, provided you give him lots of tax breaks and a million dollars!

Stop reaching for the checkbook. We were being sarcastic.

There are two very unhappy Republicans in Nevada today, following the surprising news — first broken by my colleague Jon Ralston in his FLASH e-mail newsletter — that appointed Attorney General George Chanos won’t seek election in November.

The first is Gov. Kenny Guinn, who had but one simple criteria for filling the job left vacant by ex-AG Brian Sandoval, who was tapped by President George W. Bush for a federal judgeship. Guinn wanted somebody who was willing and able to get elected to the position, rather than a caretaker who would just serve until November. In Chanos, he thought he’d found his man.

The second is Jones Vargas shareholder Joe Brown, the uber-inside player whose chance meeting with old friend Chanos after a prize fight at the MGM Grand led Brown to proffer Chanos’ name to Guinn in the first place.

Both cannot help but be disappointed today, since Chanos’ decision gives the definite advantage to Catherine Cortez Masto, the Democratic candidate for attorney general. She’s been campaigning for months, which puts her well ahead of anybody the Republicans can find to jump into the race. (Filing is but two months away!)

We’ve never met Chanos, but we know a few things. First, he was dead wrong in his legal opinion about the Canadian prescription drugs bill. (That document was later ignored by the state Pharmacy Board.) Second, he was even deader wrong to take to the airwaves on Face to Face with Jon Ralston and publicly insult Assembly Speaker-in-Waiting Barbara Buckley over the drug plan. And the way he launched the investigation of the Bill Walters/Royal Links land deal — from which he had to step aside after declaring a conflict of interest — gave critics unnecessary ammunition against the probe.

(Having said that, however, we have to give Chanos credit for standing up and launching a probe when local law enforcement had given up, and the city seemed poised to give away millions of tax dollars to a favored developer. Not every public official has that kind of courage, and we’re glad somebody stepped up and did it. And that will remain true regardless of the outcome of the probe.)

How would Chanos have fared at the polls? It’s an academic question now. The real question is: Who will Kenny Guinn find to run with such short notice? And will he make that person sign an oath in blood promising to actually be on the ballot come November?

UPDATE: Our mistake: Chanos is not resigning from the post, which means that Guinn won’t have the opportunity to appoint somebody new to the job. Republicans, we’re told by one insider, are scrambling to find somebody to get into the race. The front-runner seems to be state Sen. Mark Amodei, R-Carson City, who was mentioned but passed over by Guinn as a possible appointment. He seems to have the strongest chance, with name identification and the ability to raise money.

Saturday found Review-Journal “general interest” columnist Jane Ann Morrison once again covering the biggest story in town: Herself.

In a column of 16 paragraphs touting her new column photo, Morrison used the words “I,” “me” or “my” 22 times, together with quotes from readers who offered feedback on her new look.

We learn that “When it comes to changing my hair, I move glacially,” and, after an unfortunate experimentation with an “Afro,” she went with a “no muss, no fuss” style that endured “a long, long time.” It was finally a reader’s suggestion that she looked better on TV than in print that prompted her to make the big change.

Oh, and she worked reader response to a recent column on the aging Tropicana into the mix, too, and summed with this bit of obvious wisdom: “However, it’s true of me and it’s true of the Trop, looking old, tired and run-down isn’t a positive.”

The headline? “It takes courage, and a little kick, to change what should be changed.”

Sorry, but it doesn’t take courage to write about yourself like this; just an over-inflated and under-informed sense of self. Sure, readers may write in to applaud, but remember, these are the same people who think Olive Garden is the best Italian food in town, and Taco Bell the best taco. Nobody can be that starved for praise, can they?

Perhaps a better question is this: Is there nobody at the R-J who thinks enough of its junior marquee columnist to tell her the truth: She’s not a celebrity, and with columns like this, she’s in ever-greater danger of becoming a punchline?