ABSTRACT: Today, we take a look at Erin Kenny’s moral gymnastics, as well as dish about Barbara Cegavske’s new opponent and the release of kidnapped journalist Jill Carroll.

Former Clark County Commissioner Erin Kenny has done may evil things in her public life in Las Vegas, and on Thursday, she sought to explain how.

“I didn’t feel anything,” Kenny said of taking hundreds of thousands in bribes from strip club mogul Mike Galardi and, later, Triple 5 Development Corp. (The developer, through attorney Dominic Gentile, denied the allegation.)

“I had no emotion on the issue, on what I was doing. It was my way of coping with it. It was inherently wrong and against everything I believed in.”

So she took huge cash payments, and in turn voted in favor of her benefactors, and she “coped” by simply not thinking about it? Could a person really live with themselves with such a bifurcated moral code?

Kenny certainly did think about the money. We know that from wiretaps, in which she said she was literally down on her knees, begging for money. We know she sought to use that money not only to defray her household expenses, but also to advance her political career. And we know she was the most aggressive commissioner in driving through certain initiatives, to the detriment of her constituents. Kenny is undoubtedly one of the most ruthless, calculating politicians we have ever seen.

But she simply put those bribes out of her mind? Just continued to do her job, without regard to the fact that she was a bought-and-paid for political whore who deceived her constituents, colleagues and even some of us in the media? (We at Various Things & Stuff cop to not getting wise to Kenny’s schemes.)

If taking bribes really was inherently wrong and against everything she believed in, Kenny would simply never have done it. She wouldn’t have taken money, and would have been offended by the mere suggestion. The fact is, she did take the money, and while she may have maintained an idealized moral code in her mind, she had no problem violating that code in the real world.

You can argue that Kenny found herself in a bad spot. She claims to suffer from vertigo, and a resulting memory loss. You can argue she needed money to help support her large family. You can argue that Galardi found her in a particularly vulnerable time, and she did something she wouldn’t normally do.

But character is not forged in easy times, when you’ve got a fat bank account and the wind in your sails. Character is forged in the tough times, when you have to make tough choices in the real world, cast against the backdrop of your true moral beliefs. Plenty of elected officials who are worse off than Kenny and don’t sell their votes. They are the ones — not Kenny — who truly believe that taking bribes stands against everything they believe in.

Socrates said the unexamined life isn’t worth living, but Kenny had no problem living hers until the FBI came calling. But her willful ignorance is no excuse: She deserves no sympathy, and very little mercy, for what she’s done. And the worst thing about it — especially for accused ex-Commissioners Dario Herrera and Mary Kincaid Chauncey — is not that Kenny has finally been forced to face her unexamined life, but that the details of it were so goddamn accurate.

We suppose in a time when the Kathy Augustines, Frances Deanes and Tom DeLays of the world maintain they’ve done nothing wrong, it should be refreshing to find someone like Kenny, who owns up to guilt. But it’s a hollow, unsatisfying comfort. Which is to say, it’s no comfort at all.

We’ve got to wash this nasty taste out of our mouths. Anybody for the best rhetorical comfort food around, Quick Hits? Here we go:

• So Tim Cory, who gets in and out of political races like the rest of us get in and out of our cars, is throwing his hat into the ring against state Sen. Barbara Cegavske. Cory, who serves as a federal bankruptcy trustee, says he’ll emphasize ethics in his bid.

Good move. Remember that Cegavske had a no-bid, no-work contract with KVBC Channel 3 to serve as a “consultant,” while at the same time serving as vice-chairwoman of the Human Resources and Education Committee that oversees higher education, which is headed up by Chancellor Jim Rogers, who coincidentally owns Channel 3. How convenient.

The deal was cancelled once it came to light, as if further proof was needed that the arrangement was totally, unambiguously unethical. Let’s see if Cory a.) stays in the race and b.) can make use of Cegavske’s little problem.

As always, we at Various Things & Stuff enjoy watching Republicans in disarray. And this seems to be the year for that, doesn’t it?

• Jill Carroll, the freelance writer for the Christian Science Monitor who was captured by a shadowy group in Iraq and held for three months, was freed. Her captivity demonstrated the risks that journalists take to cover the war in a country that is still torn asunder by ethnic, religious and political strife.

We should be grateful to Carroll, and to all the other reporters whose bylines appear above Iraqi datelines, for bringing us the real story of what’s happening in that country. May those who are putting their lives on the line to do their jobs — and that includes every U.S. soldier, sailor, airman and Marine — come home soon.

For more in journalists in hotspots, visit the website of the group Reporters Without Borders.

So Assemblyman Scott Sibley has drawn an opponent — well, almost. Attorney Greg Whicker tells the Review-Journal he’s almost 100 percent positive he’ll run, apparently because Sibley didn’t call him back.

“That really irked me,” said Whicker, who used to work at the attorney general’s office. “It’s one thing to blow off constituents. It’s another to blow off a deputy attorney general.”

There you have it, folks: Constituents are the little people, but a lawyer with a badge? That person should rocket to the top of your call list. (Right under the big campaign contributors, that is.)

Whicker has filed a complaint with the state Ethics Commission over Sibley’s abuse of his role as a process server, which drew a $100,000 judgment in a civil action recently. But Whicker, who we presume went to law school, neglected to look up the law: The incident in question happened in 2004, before Sibley ever entered politics. And that means the commission has no jurisdiction to investigate the complaint.

(We really, really hope that Whicker wasn’t working in the AG’s appellate division.)

“He was an assemblyman when he was fined. It is like if I committed murder 10 years ago and now I want to be governor. The murder is not going to affect my ability to be governor?” Whicker said.

Um, no, it’s really not like murder, counselor, as you should well know. In fact, a civil verdict in a process-serving case is pretty damn far from murder. And to argue that the Ethics Commission should take up the case anyway still turns the law on its head. (See the well-known case of Hyperbolic Desperate Politician v. Reality, 123 P2nd 533 [Cal. 1967].)

And, while we’re not out to defend Sibley, we also think his acceptance of Rolling Stones concert tickets is not a violation of law. (That’s not the same thing as saying he should have done it; we don’t.) But Sibley — unlike some others — reported the gifts as required. Again, a political issue, not a legal one.

Whicker should keep his fight where it belongs: In the court of public opinion, not the hearing rooms of the Ethics Commission.

ABSTRACT: We take on Republican activist Tony Dane and his assault on Clark County Manager Tom Reilly, as well as address open government with Bob Beers, bad behavior with Scott Sibley and immigration’s potency as a political issue in Quick Hits.

Professional loser Tony Dane has a new target: Clark County Manager Thom Reilly.

Why? Because Dane — who likes to work for ethically challenged, ineffective, or fringe Republicans like ex-Las Vegas Councilwoman Janet Moncrief and Assemblywoman Sharron Angle, respectively — has a new client: Clark County Recorder Frances Deane.

Deane, as regular readers know, is under investigation by Metro Police for allegedly selling an early look at documents filed with her office to a local businessman, who stood to make a profit from the information. (If you’re getting a sense of deja vu, it’s because Deane was once hauled before the state Ethics Commission, where she paid a $5,000 fine, for trying to set up a private business that would have sold publicly available documents online.)

Reilly says Deane agreed to temporarily step aside from her office while the investigation was pending, but she denies that, and has come to work anyway.

Enter Dane, on behalf of Deane, with that most annoying of political tactics, the automated phone call. We at Various Things & Stuff have obtained a copy of that call, and we’ll take it apart for you here. (Our thoughts are in italics, so as not to be confused with Dane’s rantings.)

• “There is a movement to take away our right to vote. As crazy as that sounds, Clark County Manager Thom Reilly requested from the Legislature last year to make [sic] the county recorder an appointed position.”

You know, that does sound crazy. But once again, as is his wont, Dane is lying. First, there is no movement currently to change the recorder’s status. Second, Reilly didn’t request anything from the Legislature; the Clark County Commission asked for a bill — in 2003, not last year — that would have consolidated the recorder’s office with the county clerk. Third, the county clerk is also an elected position, so voters would still be able to hold an elected official accountable for the work of the recorder’s office. (The bill, Senate Bill 80, was never passed.)

This is not something that could be easily misunderstood, even by someone like Dane, who’s not on good terms with the truth. Reilly made it clear in an op-ed piece in the Las Vegas Sun in 2003 that, if the bill was approved, the elected clerk would take over. And the actual language of SB 80 uses the phrase “elective office,” “elected officer” four times in three pages.

• “His [Reilly] rationale is that the voters are too stupid to select a qualified person for that position. What’s next, judges? Secretary of State? The governor?”

Ah, nothing like calm, rational analysis, is there? First, Reilly has never said anything about the voters being stupid, although he certainly could — their selection of Deane was a FEMA/Michael Brown-style “heck of a job,” if you ask us. Second, there’s a great argument to be made for the appointment of judges, but that’s another blog. Third, the county would be outside it’s authority to request the appointment of … oh, well, you get the idea.

“Thom Reilly has successfully disrupted the county recorder’s office at a time when they [sic] are processing more documents faster and more efficiently than ever before.”

Oh, we see. The elected recorder tries to form a business to sell her office’s documents on the Internet, gets fined, and then allegedly goes ahead and sells them anyway, and winds up as the focus of a criminal investigation, but it’s Reilly who has disrupted the office. It’s takes a practiced mind to come to that contorted a conclusion, folks. And Dane is possessed of just such a mind.

• “But Thom Reilly wants to be the queen bee, buzzing around and stirring up trouble for those he disapproves of. Thom Reilly is not an elected official and has no right to disrupt our elected officials to gain more power for himself. If he doesn’t like the job that is being done, let him run for the office and as voters we’ll select the person we want.”

We were wondering what Dane was up to, and we think he reveals all here. Remember, this is the same Tony Dane who has for years tried unsuccessfully to unseat Assemblyman David Parks. Dane disapproves of Parks because Parks is gay, and so, perhaps coincidentally, is Reilly. Calling Reilly the “queen bee” is just up Dane’s alley: A vile slur from a hate-filled man who just can’t understand why nobody else joins his homophobic crusades.

For the record, we’d vote for Reilly for any elected office, but he’s probably too smart to run for one. If he ever does, the voters would be well-served by his intelligence and experience.

• “Please call the County Commission at 455-3500 and remind them that we don’t have the opportunity to vote for Thom Reilly but we do vote for them. If they don’t remove this power-hungry manager, they will lose our vote. It is time to stop letting these bureaucrats take advantage. We are the voters and we are in control of our vote. If we lose that fundamental right even on something as small as county recorder, what’s next? This message is paid for by Tony Dane, private citizen.”

First, judging by Dane’s past antics, we suspect that he’s been paid by Deane or someone else to put out this call, which the Review-Journal’s Molly Ball reported went to 157,000 homes. Then again, Dane is mean enough, obsessed enough and nuts enough to do it on his own.

The bottom line: Dane is lying, or criminally uninformed about what he’s talking about; Dane has probably been paid by Deane or someone else to defend her sorry behavior; and Dane has the worst of motives. In other words, just another day in the wacky life of Las Vegas politics, where even grifters get a chance at the microphone.

And now, it’s on to Quick Hits!

• We at Various Things and Stuff are breathing a little easier, knowing that the free market is truly responding to our needs. Pass us another Double-Double, baby!

• Thanks to state Sen. Bob Beers, a very attractive man, for his ultimately unsuccessful efforts to keep a hearing on school funding open to the public. A Legislative Counsel Bureau opinion said the hearings aren’t subject to the state’s Open Meeting Law, since they are part of the work of a private contractor conducting a review of schools, but Beers made a motion that they be open anyway. Shame on Assemblywoman Debbie Smith, D-Sparks, for not telling the LCB lawyers where to file their opinion, and telling the contractor and other members of the study panel they’d have to conduct their work in public.

• Can the state Ethics Commission investigate an elected official for conduct that took place before that person was elected? We don’t think so, which is why Assemblyman Scott Sibley, R-Henderson, probably won’t face commissioners on charges he abused his position as a process server to evict a couple from their Lake Las Vegas home. Then again, with a $120,000 civil verdict lodged against him and plenty of negative press as a result, Sibley isn’t exactly getting away with anything.

(Full disclosure: Sibley is publisher of Nevada Legal News, and Various Things & Stuff is owned by the Stephens Media Group, which is known to publish a newspaper or two of its own in the Las Vegas Valley.)

• A battle royale is shaping up between the House and the Senate over immigration reform, which leads us back to a comment we meant to address earlier.

The Las Vegas Sun had a big story on immigration yesterday, in which the political impact of the issue was addressed. Pete Ernaut, a Republican consultant who works for R&R Partners, dismissed the impact of the issue on 2006 races thusly:

“I think the issue of illegal immigration is much like campaign finance reform or identity theft. If you ask someone about it, of course they’ll say they’re concerned. But compared to education, the economy, health care, it’s not even close,” he said.

We’re loath to disagree with the experts, but we think Ernaut’s wrong. True, people don’t care about campaign finance reform very much, and identity theft isn’t a problem unless it happens to you. And true, health care and education are top issues (not to mention traffic, our favorite bitch here in Las Vegas). But we have seen more voter anger, passion and opinion about immigration than on any other issue we’ve seen or covered in the 17 years we’ve been hammering away on keyboards.

For example: One day during our tenure at the Review-Journal we got a call from a retired Air Force officer, who invited us to his home for coffee. We accepted, and after some preliminary chit-chat, he proceeded to outline for us his view that immigration was threatening our country and our state, and that it had to be controlled. He wasn’t a wild-eyed xenophobe, either. He was a reasonable, responsible man.

At a wedding, we got to talking to a Navy man who flew F/A-18 Hornets. He was amazed that he’d been sent to Iraq to patrol a no-fly zone, but the southern border of our country was essentially undefended.

And it’s not just military; people of all walks of life are concerned about the issue. Whether they fear losing jobs, losing American culture or losing a big battle in the war on terror, they are all concerned about immigration. And politicians are skillfully exploiting the issue all across the spectrum. (Anybody heard of Colorado U.S. Rep. Tom Tancredo before he started talking immigration?) The issue is so potent, even U.S. Sen. Harry Reid took a day trip to the San Diego border recently to talk about it (and we forgive you, senator, for not dashing across to Tijuana to score us some Cohibas).

We at Various Things & Stuff are sympathetic to the issue, given that our maternal great-grandparents came to America as immigrants. We think anybody should be able to better themselves here. And as long as we ensure security — if novelist Tom Clancy can dream of terrorists coming up through Mexico, so can Osama bin Laden — we should always be the land that accepts huddled masses, yearning to be free.

But we recognize that not everybody shares our view. Whatever the opinion, however, there is more passion on this issue than on a host of others combined. And we should remember that as elections near.

We have to confess, since we first discovered the Review-Journal’s readers tend to vote for Taco Bell for Best Taco and Olive Garden for Best Italian Restaurant, we hardly bother to read the “Best of Las Vegas” tabloid that comes out around this time every year. And while we skimmed some entries, it took an alert friend to direct us to the slam on CityLife buried in this year’s edition.

On the off chance that you, too, haven’t devoured every word of the advertising vehicle, look under Most Embarrassing Thing About Las Vegas. There, an unidentified writer wonders if “the lazy, self-absorbed gasbags who run CityLife” ought to be considered for the category.

Which promoted us to wonder, “why you gotta hate on us like that?” After all, the only thing we’ve ever done to the R-J’s Living section writers — who also prepare the “Best of Las Vegas” tabloid — is point out how awful they are at their jobs. In the entertainment capital of the world, we’ve argued, you should not see stories about lawn ornaments, “stichery stores,” cleaning your windows to get a better view or (still our favorite) those little things on the end of your shoelaces.

We just assumed that it was all in good fun, that most of the Living section writers knew they sucked. (We exempt newcomer Corey Levitan from that description, however. His stuff is entertaining.)

After all, everybody else we talked to (inside and outside the paper) shared our view, and marveled that some of the writers still had jobs. We just assumed that all we’d done is blow the whistle on something everybody knew about, and the only thing they could be mad at us for is rocking the boat.

But then we read this nasty slam on CityLife and it came to us.

They didn’t know.

After years of plodding headlong into mediocrity, after years of churning out colorless, effortless copy without a single editor ever challenging them to produce better, more interesting stories, they’d actually come to the conclusion that they were doing a … a good job! Good Lord, we realized. We broke the news to them.

Well, don’t we feel bad?

Listen, Living section, we’re really sorry about the harsh way that we let you know you blew. We didn’t mean to shatter your illusions. Honestly, we had no idea that you were doing what you considered quality work. If we had known, we’d have been much less mean. We’d still have said it, of course, since it’s 100 percent true, but we might have sugar-coated things just a bit.

So accept our apologies, and even our congratulations for finally finding a pair and sounding off. Good job!

ABSTRACT: Today on Various Things & Stuff, we muse about the nature of Islamic (and Christian) fascism, and then dine on a serving of delicious peanut-butter-flavored Quick Hits!

We’re told Islam is a religion of peace, but judging from some weekend stories, for some of its hard-core adherents, it’s more like a religion of pieces. As in the “pieces” that some fundamentalist Muslim clerics want to pull poor Abdul Rahman into.

His crime? Converting to Christianity 16 years ago while working with Catholic medical relief workers in Pakistan, where he was helping refugees from his native Afghanistan. It seems an open-and-shut case: Rahman was caught in possession of a Bible.

And you thought we liberated this country from the Taliban, didn’t you? It turns out, even the new, U.S.-backed puppet government embraces the principles of Islamic law, which include punishment for converting to another religion.

That punishment? Death. Or at least that’s what state prosecutors were asking for before international pressure prompted the court to declare that Rahman wasn’t mentally fit for trial, and he could be set free while prosecutors continued their investigation.

But that might not help poor Rahman. It seems some hard-line clerics have threatened rioting, and have said they will incite their followers to pull Rahman to pieces.

Hmmm. Sounds peaceful.

Let’s be honest about something: Fundamentalist Islam and democracy are simply incompatible. That religion will never tolerate western-style freedoms, such as women’s rights, civil rights, religious tolerance, and free speech. (Recall the violence that erupted after provocative cartoons of the Prophet Muhammad were published in a Danish newspaper.) We’re fooling ourselves if we think otherwise.

Then again, let’s be honest about something else: Fundamentalist Christianity is also incompatible with democracy. That religion will also never tolerate western-style freedoms, like women’s rights, civil rights, religious tolerance and free speech. We’re fooling ourselves if we think otherwise.

Why? Because both fundamentalist Islam and fundamentalist Christianity share one fatal flaw: They seek to make non-Christians and non-Muslims live as if they were Christians and Muslims. They seek to impose by force of law what can only be accomplished through a genuine change of heart. And in so doing, they betray the very foundation of religion, and turn it into a political movement, with all the corruption and lust for power attendant thereunto.

Fundamentalists cannot be reasoned with, negotiated with, or persuaded — as Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said — to respect differing views. They believe they have holy writ and God himself on their side, so any compromise is a betrayal of the Almighty. The only recourse of mere mortals is to oppose them, by reason or by force, when they attempt to seize control of the government.

This is not to say that people of faith should be barred at the door of Congress, or a statehouse, or a foreign parliament. But we’d prefer people of faith who realize that a job as a politician means making laws for everyone, the religious and irreligious alike.

As for poor Abdul Rahman, we sincerely hope he wins his freedom and a ticket to a nation where he won’t be threatened with death for reading a Bible. We should all join in a simple prayer: Lord, please deliver us all from the hands of those who claim to be your servants.

And now, as promised, some weekend Quick Hits:

• Shame on Hearing Master Stephen Compan for closing a hearing for the prime suspect in an alleged sexual assault/hazing incident at Sierra Vista High School, based only on the whim of defense attorney Frank Cremen, who said letting the media in is like chumming for sharks. Yeah, that’s a well-known legal reason for closing a hearing. (Compan also denied a Review-Journal reporter’s request for a delay so the newspaper’s lawyers could be heard on the matter.)

As Juvenile Court Judge William Voy later ruled, Compan erred. Let’s all remember that if Compan decides he wants to be a real, robe-wearing judge someday. He’s clearly not ready for prime-time. We’d say shame on Cremen, too, but he’s just doing his job, and he managed to find an especially susceptible person to mislead.

• Quotable: “If your state currently is in the toilet, [the Taxpayers Bill of Rights] will keep it there.” — Nick Johns, of the Center for Budget and Policy Priorities, on state Sen. Bob Beers’ Tax and Spending Control initiative, which is very much like TABOR. (Quoted in the Review-Journal, March 25.)

• These are groups that want out-of-control spending, want essentially socialism.” — Beers’ calm, considered reply, in the same story.

• Oh, the outrage! KABC, the Los Angeles affiliate of the American Broadcasting Corp., has refused to air an ad trying to lure businesses to Nevada by attacking California’s taxes and regulations. The ad features Mayor Oscar Goodman, of course.

How could those bastards do this? We’re speaking, of course, of the Nevada Development Authority, which is using part of a $5.5 million grant from the state to recruit businesses to Nevada. That’s $5.5 million worth of unbuilt roads, unfed homeless people, unpurchased mental health treatment beds or unhired cops or teachers. Or, for the Bob Beers conservatives out there, it’s a $2.18 tax refund for every one of the estimated 2.5 million people living in Nevada in 2005, according to the state demographer’s office.

Why, that’s almost enough to buy a Double-Double at In-N-Out. For everybody in Nevada. And who wouldn’t want a delicious Double-Double instead of another hammy ad featuring Goodman?

• Shades of the Cold War: A Pentagon report says captured Iraqi documents show the Russians — who apparently had a source inside American Central Command in Qatar during the 1993 invasion of Iraqi — were telling Saddam Hussein about U.S. troop movements.

Now, we were against the war, too, just like the Russians. But if its proven that the government of Vladimir Putin was deliberately putting U.S. soldiers at risk, we think serious consequences should flow. And we don’t mean just skipping a trade summit.

Then again, didn’t President George W. Bush look into former KGB officer Putin’s soul and pronounce him a good man? We think there may have been a reflection in the room, since we were always taught that KGB officers don’t have souls. Oh, snap! Only kidding. It could be that Russian technology has developed to the extent where some sort of Soul-O-Matic device can be implanted directly in the eyes that would bypass even the intense, piercing gaze and intellect of President Bush.

But seriously, folks. If Ivan put our people at risk of Iraqi shot and shell, we need to return the favor. Big time.

• Good for you, South Dakota! Showing that not all South Dakotans are members of Christian fascist sects, a group has begun to collect signatures to repeal that state’s toughest-in-the-nation abortion ban. They’ll need 16,728 signatures by June to be successful, which means they’ll need to find 16,728 otherwise reasonable people by summer.

And that’s going to be tough, since if you’re reasonable, wouldn’t you have moved out of South Dakota long ago?

• Let’s start by saying that we like the Las Vegas Sun’s Jeff Simpson. He’s a smart guy and well-informed about the gambling industry. Aside from a preternatural love for all things Steve Wynn, we think he does a good job.

But what the hell was he talking about in Sunday’s column? Not only did he let Mobile Billboards owner Marla Letizia totally slam her competitors — they’re moving bombs, ready to go at any minute!!!! — he actually argued that the moving ad platforms take away from the ambiance of the Strip.

Say what?

No, really, check it out: “The Strip is the economic engine of our valley and our state. When visitors come to Las Vegas they are looking to experience the billion-dollar resorts and their best-in-the-world offerings.

“Anything that detracts from that experience should be scrutinized.”

And here’s a little more:

“Mobile billboards undeniably add to the congestion on the Strip. They drive more slowly than cars, and take up a lot of space. And they block views of the fountains, volcanos [sic] and the multibillion-dollar streetscape that resort operators created to capture visitors’ imaginations.”

And finally: “But if they’re allowed to remain, they should at least be limited in number and made to operate safely, similar to the way we already regulate taxis and limos. County commissioners should act before the problem gets even more out of hand.”

Do we even have to say it? OK, we will: When your town is built on fake pyramids, fake King Arthur-style castles, fake Italian lakes, fake Eiffel Towers, fake pirate lagoons and a fake Roman Empire (to say nothing of the real purpose of Vegas, to separate suckers from their money), a mobile billboard rolling down the Strip can’t possibly detract that much.

We like you, Jeff, but on this one, we think you’re parroting the casino line just a little too closely.

• Quotable: “The country’s first lobbyists were the people who wrote the Constitution. I don’ think we should lose sight of that.” — Tom Skancke, a lobbyist for the Las Vegas Convention and Visitors Authority, quoted in the Review-Journal today.

Yes, who could forget the headlines in the Ye Olde Washington Post in 1787, about how Thomas Jefferson and John Adams were accused of improperly influencing old Benjamin Franklin with an all-expenses-paid trip to France for hookers and cheese? Damn if those old-school lobbyists didn’t know how to twist arms!

No clear winner or loser emerged from the Democratic gubernatorial debate on Face to Face with Jon Ralston, taped this morning. (The program airs in two parts, the first today and the second on Monday. Our thanks to the kind folks at Face to Face for the invitation to cover it live.)

But there were some good exchanges between state Sen. Dina Titus and Henderson Mayor Jim Gibson, who are vying for the chance to face the Republican nominee.

Although Titus produced ethics laws she’d introduced dating to 1991, Gibson said her “12-step” ethics program demonstrated a brand-new interest in ethics, constituted “politics,” and added “I think it’s just a pattern that Sen. Titus follows … it’s one of political expediency.”

Titus stuck to her guns, however, and program host Jon Ralston got Gibson to admit that he even agreed with a couple of Titus’ suggestions.

Although the subtle and not-so-subtle jabs continued throughout the entire hour, Gibson had one of the best, responding to Titus’ remark that ethics are what you learn in Sunday school. “I attended Sunday school, too. Still do,” Gibson said. “And I don’t need Dina Titus to tell me what’s right and wrong.”

Titus got her licks in, too, reminding viewers of Gibson’s participating in the “Reagan youth,” attending President George W. Bush’s inaugural and donating money to U.S. Rep. Jon Porter, a longtime friend of Gibson’s. (Gibson did say he’s supporting Democrat Tessa Hafen this year, although nobody asked why he hadn’t bothered to back former Park Place chief Tom Gallagher in 2004.

Unfortunately, against that backdrop, Gibson defended himself against one Titus crack by saying “there you go again, Sen. Titus.” He was, of course, quoting Ronald Reagan.

Ralston replayed the now-infamous Gibson quote on abortion (also uttered on his show) in order to solicit the mayor into promising that he will not propose any changes to current abortion law, and that he would never criminalize abortion. (Not “proposing” a change, however, is far different than signing a bill restricting abortion that somebody else has proposed.)

We at Various Things & Stuff still think that Gibson’s quote — in which he said he’s never going to put himself in a position where things he really believes would be at odds with what he’d enact as governor — has implications beyond abortion. What are those things that he really believes? And should they form the basis of a government? That quote opens the door to the question, and the Titus campaign has yet to highlight that issue.

As for abortion, Titus said she thinks there’s a good chance the landmark Roe v. Wade decision could be overturned, which means states would have to rule on abortion questions.

Oh, by the way: You can find out all about Titus’ 12-step plan here. And to learn about Gibson’s signature APPLE program, click here.

• Which job is cooler: Speaker of the Assembly, or chief of police for the city of Henderson? You could ask Richard Perkins today, since he holds both positions simultaneously.

(For our money, it’s top cop. Not only do you get four stars for your collar, you get to carry a gun, drive a car with red-and-blue lights that gets you out of waiting in traffic, and you can also pull over a-holes like the one we encountered this morning, lazily letting his Honda drift into the lane occupied by our Honda. Damn, where is Chief Perkins when you need him?)

Perkins surprised many when he dropped out of the race for governor, leaving Titus and Gibson to fight it out. Had he run, he’d surely have hung up his badge by now.

Oh, and all that stuff about the Hatch Act, which prevents federal employees or employees of local governments that get federal funds from engaging in partisan political activity? It should be no problem, assuming Perkins doesn’t engage in any partisan political activity between now and the expiry of his term in the Assembly, which comes in January 2007.

• The health nazis, using “the children” as human shields, are at it again. And that reminds us of a question we’ve been wanting to ask: What is taking Carson City District Court Judge Bill Maddox so damn long to decide whether the so-called “Nevada Clean Indoor Air Act” is flawed, as a coalition of convenience stores and other businesses contend? He’s had the court papers for months. What’s the holdup, your honor?

U.S. Sen. John Ensign launched his re-election bid Wednesday at a social club for U.S. Marines. Ensign is not a Marine himself, but the Marines are a very welcoming sort, even to non-Devil Dogs. Plus, we suspect he may have brought them some booze.

Anyway, Ensign’s curious strategy was to marry himself to President George W. Bush, especially on the war in Iraq. “I want to commend President George W. Bush — he has taken on that [radical Islam] evil. He says we have to stay the course, and that means we cannot lose our courage,” Ensign said.

Perhaps Ensign thought that was the thing to tell the Leatherneck Club, given that they are among America’s best warriors. But the Basic School doesn’t turn out dummies: They know, as writer Susan Sontag once wrote, that courage can be a morally neutral virtue. When the jarheads say “semper fi” (short for their motto, semper fidelis, meaning “always faithful”) they know their fidelity is only as good as the object of their loyalty, in this case, Corps and country. A person can be always faithful to a flawed idea — like, the president is always right in wartime — and end up being very wrong.

Ensign mentioned Yucca Mountain, too, perhaps thinking that Uncle Sam’s Misguided Children would forget he once promised to bring Republicans to the anti-Yucca side of the debate, and failed utterly in doing so. That was even after Ensign went door-to-door on the Republican side of the Senate with a three-ring binder showing how Yucca is bad for everybody, not just Nevada.

Despite all that, however, Ensign is still the favorite to win re-election. Frankly, we’re surprised that U.S. Sen. Harry Reid didn’t show up at Ensign’s side on Wednesday. (Reid was actually down in San Diego, inspecting the border and declaring the Bush — with whom Ensign nearly always votes — was dangerously incompetent. Still, friends can disagree, right? Even best friends, like Ensign and Reid, who most certainly won’t do much to help a Democratic challenger to the Republican.

Sad.

• Can it be? An idea for downtown’s deserted Neonopolis mall that might actually draw people to the area?

The Review-Journal’s David McGrath Schwartz reports that three of the movie theaters at the mall are going to be reconfigured into a poker stadium, where non-alcohol-sipping audiences can watch poker tournaments from behind one-way, soundproof glass. It’s being described as the “NASCAR” for poker.

This is probably the best idea that’s been mustered for Neonopolis since some super-genius decided to redesign the mall from a open-air, three-level plaza embracing Fremont Street into a giant, forbidding wall concealing … well, not much beyond a few movie theaters, an anemic food court and a couple scrunchie kiosks.

Meanwhile, other places in downtown are showing signs of life, including Third Street, with the Hogs & Heifers Saloon and Triple George. Even Fremont Street, where Schwartz reports two new restaurants are opening, is seeing some interest.

There’s hope. But does anybody else see the irony that most everything cool downtown seems to happen in spite of the city’s redevelopment efforts and not because of them? Just asking.

• Are former Clark County Commissioners Dario Herrera and Erin Kenny terrorists? Even if you stretch the definition, it really doesn’t apply to them, or their former colleagues Lance Malone and Mary Kincaid-Chauncey, either.

But the FBI certainly used the USA Patriot Act to investigate them. For those keeping score at home, the Patriot Act is the law that President Bush says is key in the fight against terrorism.

It seems that if the FBI sends somebody’s name to the Treasury Department in Washington, D.C., Treasury will run that name against a database and come up with every bank or financial institution with which that person does business. Nifty, huh? It saves a lot of work apparently.

We’re sure glad that somebody in Las Vegas finally took political corruption seriously, but we think using the Patriot Act is another example of how that law can be abused in cases that have nothing whatsoever to do with terrorism. Ditto for the warantless spying conducted by the National Security Agency.

• Review-Journal columnist Jane Ann Morrison had a good column today on the longstanding and public feud between Gov. Kenny Guinn and his former close advisor, Republican political consultant Sig Rogich.

The Reader’s Digest version: Guinn is upset with Rogich for supporting and advising U.S. Rep. Jim Gibbons in Gibbons’ quest to be governor, because Gibbons angered Guinn by criticizing his tax plan in 2003. Guinn, in turn, angered Rogich when the governor said he didn’t take much of Rogich’s advice anyway. (That’s just mean, and untrue. According to my colleague Jon Ralston’s book on Guinn’s 1998 race, The Anointed One, Guinn eagerly accepted Rogich’s advice.) Rogich believes, correctly, that Gibbons is the GOP’s only chance to hold on to the governor’s mansion, and told Guinn so in person.

Anyway, take a look for yourself, and enjoy. Republican disarray and infighting is just so damn entertaining!

Well, screw you, Brian Greenspun!

That’s what we at Various Things & Stuff were tempted to say after a friend e-mailed us to report that Las Vegas Sun Editor Brian Greenspun had called us out by name in his Sunday column in the “Sunsert” section of the Review-Journal.

Once again, Greenspun has taken to the keyboard to defend his friend and business partner, golf course mogul Bill Walters. Once again, he’s done it without disclosing that he and Walters are business partners in a Henderson land deal. And once again, he’s got his facts mixed up.

No wonder even Greenspun’s wife seems to see he’s making an ass out of himself in print. Alas, we’re always blind to our own faults.

Greenspun slams us for a Media Watch item in CityLife [”Bad! That’s a bad Smith!” March 9] in which we (once again) attack a Feb. 19 story in the Sun about an “independent study” commissioned by the newspaper that purports to say Walters’ Royal Links deal with the city of Las Vegas is good for taxpayers.

We’ve long ago debunked that line. Twice, in fact. Click on the links if you’re interested.

Greenspun implies that we’re covering for the R-J, a regular target of our criticisms, out of ignorance that the newspaper is sitting on exculpatory evidence that proves the independent study is valid. He also says we were assigned the task by our corporate masters downtown.

Nothing could be further from the truth. Corporate overlords Sherm Frederick and Tom Mitchell didn’t even tell us what to do in the days when we toiled as a columnist for the R-J, much less now in our role as editor of CityLife.

Whatever research the R-J has compiled is that newspaper’s business — they don’t really share a lot of that with us, despite our common corporate parent. But the questions we raised on Feb. 20 (repeated here and there on the blog and in CityLife on Feb. 23) have yet to be answered.

Here’s are just a few, in case Greenspun cares to answer them:

– Why did the independent study start by assuming Walters was entitled to the full value of the Royal Links golf course without a deed restriction that prohibits homebuilding? Why not proceed from the present value of the course, with the deed restriction, since that’s what Walters owns?

– Why did the study assume it was perfectly “good for taxpayers” to allow Walters to essentially pay 1999 prices for unrestricted title to land that’s become immensely more valuable in the meantime?

– Why did the independent study ascribe “benefits” of saving water to the city of Las Vegas’ taxpayers, when said “benefits,” if they exist at all, would accrue to the entire Las Vegas Valley as a whole?

– Why did the independent study not examine the costs involved with expanding and upgrading the sewage treatment plant which would likely be necessary if Walters is allowed to lift the deed restriction and build homes just 20 feet from the plant’s property line?

– Why, if the Sun’s study is accurate, has it come to conclusions totally incongruent with the analysis of city lawyers who have studied the Royal Links matter in the past?

And, while we’re at it, why not toss in a couple more questions?

– What were the parameters of the study, and who set them?

– Why deliver copies of the study to members of the City Council, unless you were intending to influence the outcome of an official action? If that was the intent, is that ethical?

If Greenspun wants to answer those questions, he can e-mail us at SSebelius@lvcitylife.com. We’d love to hear from him.

Our favorite part of Greenspun’s column was the part where he said the R-J was opposed to the Walters deal “…because they have a vested interest in discrediting any finding that may run counter to their narrow view of the world.”

Yet Greenspun has (on just one occasion) admitted that he’s a business partner and friend of Walters.

So, the R-J’s intangible desire to run the world is a bad thing, but Greenspun’s actual financial and personal conflict is an acceptable thing? It’s the kind of conclusion only a practiced mind could reach.

Anyway, we’re under no illusions that Greenspun reads us here on Various Things & Stuff. In fact, we’re quite flattered to learn he reads CityLife. Thanks for the support, Mr. Greenspun!

• On the very day that a coroner’s inquest jury found that police were justified in killing rapper Amir Crump, 21, in the Feb. 1 shootout that cost a Las Vegas police sergeant his life, the Board of Regents made the rare wise decision to reject member Stavros Anthony’s bid to ban gangster rap from university campuses.

A couple things:

– First, Anthony, who works during the day as a Metro Police captain, said it was the killing of Sgt. Henry Prendes that motivated him to float the gangster rap ban, which could have seen a panel including university police deciding which concerts were acceptable and which were not.

This is further proof that those who enforce the laws should never be the same people as the ones who write the laws. As a government employee, it seems clear to us that Anthony is automatically ineligible for service on the board of regents under the state constitution’s separation-of-powers doctrine.

The death of Sgt. Prendes was a tragedy that needs to be answered with communitywide condemnation of attitudes that justify violence against women and the police, not with assaults on the Constitution that all police officers are sworn to uphold. Metro Police officers acting professionally at all times and making progressive efforts to reach out to minority communities will do more to reduce violence in the community than banning a particular form of music.

– Second, this was an obvious, slam-dunk bad idea from the moment it was hatched. As Chancellor Jim Rogers observed, it constitutes prior restraint, even if the speech that’s being restrained is obnoxious and evil. At the end of the day, Anthony seemed to get a better understanding of that, even if he was still pushing for some kind of policy hinging on the “incitement to violence” exception to free-speech rules.

And that illustrates the difference between someone truly preserving, protecting and defending the Constitution and someone cleverly conspiring to confound it: The constitutionalist embraces the document and its principles, even if some perceived wrongs cannot be addressed; the craven conspirator constantly looks for ways to get around the document and its principles. With the latter in office from Washington D.C. to our own Board of Regents, we need the former more than ever.

• Oh, and speaking of that coroner’s inquest, you’ve simply got to read our friend and colleague Vin Suprynowitz’s column on his experience trying to attend the proceeding.

Vin discovered what many who have gone to the old Clark County Courthouse (and now, it seems, the new Regional Justice Center) have known for a long time: The bailiffs, with some rare exceptions, are total pricks. Not only that, but they also have their metal detectors turned up so high, they can detect the iron naturally occurring in human blood.

All kidding aside, to bar the public from court proceedings is a very serious violation the rights of the public and the press to access trials of public importance. And an “overflow” room that doesn’t have full audio and video presentations of the inquest from start to finish is hardly a suitable alternative.

• Attorney and Las Vegas Councilman Steve Wolfson says his client, Nevada Highway Patrol Trooper Joshua Corcran was doing his job when he smashed into a Cadillac on Interstate 15, killing four. But according to the Review-Journal:

– Neither Corcran’s lights nor his siren were on.

– There’s no record he was rolling to a so-called “hot job” at the time of the accident.

– He told a supervisor he was going home for dinner.

“He’s [Corcran] looking forward to the day when all this information and all of the facts come out in a court of law,” Wolfson says. Apparently, the trooper doesn’t really have a burning desire to get all the facts out; on Wolfson’s advice, he declined to meet with officers investigating the case. Police have asked that Corcran be charged with felony reckless driving.

• If you haven’t already read it, you’ve got to check out Geoff Schumacher’s Sunday column on the 75th anniversary of the legalization of gambling in Nevada.

Although Schumacher makes the common error of thinking that Las Vegas was “founded” in 1905, the year of the auction of downtown land, the rest of the column has some great historical perspective. And we especially loved the part wherein he reports the then-president of the Las Vegas Chamber of Commerce, S.R. Whitehead, questioned whether advertising gambling was such a good idea.

The Chamber: Wrong on the issues for more than 75 years.

• And finally today, as if there weren’t enough gifts from the Gods of News, we learned from the Review-Journal that ex-Las Vegas Councilwoman Janet Moncrief is going to run for lieutenant governor.

Gods of News, you are too good to us.

Of course, Moncrief demonstrated since her 2005 recall from office that she hasn’t grown any more savvy: She held a news conference on Sunday, which put her announcement deep inside the Monday paper. (Had she done her no-questions-please schtick on Saturday, she would have gotten into the better-read Sunday paper.)

But she was still her old self: No concrete proposals, but plenty of defensive lashing-out at her opponents, including the attorney general’s office, which settled a campaign finance case against her after she admitted wrongdoing and paid a civil fine of $5,000. Before that, she’d been indicted and subjected to a criminal prosecution for her offenses.

The deal made “it perfectly clear to many of my supporters that the only incentive for the indictment was to spearhead a movement to get me out of office,” she said. “Now that the issue of campaign finance is over, now that the five felony counts went up like a puff of smoke, I am no longer bound by silence and can keep my promise to all our citizens.”

To which we say, “oh, shut up, Janet.”

The fact is, Moncrief admitted breaking campaign finance laws, and paid a hefty fine as a result. She may have said at the time she wasn’t guilty, and offered that she only agreed to the civil deal because she couldn’t afford a lawyer, but that’s so much bullshit. (Remember, folks, in a criminal trial where the defendant cannot afford an attorney, an attorney will be provided at no cost to the defendant.)

Moncrief broke the law. She admitted breaking the law. A truly innocent person would not have admitted the same, especially if he or she hoped for a political future. The fact was, the attorney general had enough for an indictment, and had the matter gone to trial, probably would have had enough to convict. Therefore, Moncrief decided to avoid the whole mess with her admission and fine.

So deal with it, already.

And while we’re on the subject, we’d like to tell disgraced Controller Kathy Augustine to shut up, too. Like Moncrief, Augustine admitted her wrongdoing before the state Ethics Commission and paid a fine. She was later impeached and convicted (on one of three counts) before the state Senate. Yet today, she runs around saying she did nothing wrong, and there are mysterious “facts” out there somewhere that may change things.

Shut up, Kathy: You broke the law, you admitted to breaking the law, and you were even impeached and convicted of breaking the law. Deal with it.

So far, the only other person in the Republican primary for lieutenant governor is Treasurer Brian Krolicki, whose unfortunate compulsion to feature himself in TV ads and brochures for prepaid college tuition and the Millennium Scholarship are totally unnecessary: He’ll have no problem winning this primary.

And when the voters finally speak, we hope (with great longing) that Moncrief is listening to the message they first sent during the recall of 2005: Go away.

Wednesday’s conference call featuring Nevada Republican Party Chairman Paul Adams and impeached Controller Kathy Augustine was a fun time for those of us in the media-industrial complex lucky enough to be invited to listen in. (Thanks to Citizen Outreach boss Chuck Muth, our one conservative friend, for the invite.)

Adams outlined his desire to adopt a party rule that would allow the Republicans to essentially shun any elected official who’d been impeached and convicted while in office. (And since Augustine holds the dubious distinction of being the only public official ever impeached while in office, this bylaw change would apply exclusively to her.)

“I believe that the party can and should establish standards for candidates,” Adams said. “This is more a matter of standards for the party than any particular race.”

Adams also knows it’s an issue of credibility: He regularly slams U.S. Sen. Harry Reid in news releases for partisanship and ethics (Reid refuses to return more than $60,000 given to him by clients of disgraced lobbyist Jack Abramoff). Adams knows he can’t slam Democrats on ethics and partisanship if he’s got a problem in his own house.

Speaking of the problem, Augustine refused several entreaties from Muth to detail the circumstances surrounding her crimes, which included using her employees and office equipment to campaign for re-election in 2002. (If you notice we didn’t use an “allegedly” in front of that, it’s because there’s no need; Augustine admitted her violations before the state Ethics Commission, and was assessed a $15,000 fine.)

But Augustine refused to discuss it. “I don’t think that this is the venue to discuss that,” she said, more than once. But if a conference call with conservative leaders isn’t the place for Augustine to argue she was mistreated, what is?

Our favorite line was when Augustine told Adams he didn’t have all the facts about her case. Augustine was represented in her impeachment trial by Dominic Gentile, one of the state’s foremost defense lawyers. He knows how to prepare a case, and we’re convinced that he brought out all the facts favorable to Augustine during the hearings before the state Senate. (And he was effective, too; she was convicted on only one count of the impeachment and acquitted on two others.) All the facts about the case are out, and they’re well-known.

We’ve said it before, and we’ll say it again: Adams is doing the right thing in proposing the bylaw change. It sends the message that the Republicans won’t simply be shills for anybody who decides to check the GOP’s box on his voter-registration form. And it shows the party is serious about ethics. (Under the bylaw change, the party would refuse to even allow impeached officials to speak at club meetings, to say nothing of denying them access to party funds. A person could still register and run as a Republican, but would do so without any party support.)

We hope the rank and file of the Republican Party sees his wisdom when they meet in Mesquite in May.

And now for some Quick Hits!

• Did anybody else notice that the No. 1 beneficiary of the proposed county redistricting plan would be Republican Commissioner Lynette Boggs McDonald? Currently, her District F seat is home to 41,363 active-voting Democrats, 34,424 active-voting Republicans and 14,591 active non-partisans.

But under each of the redistricting plans under consideration, Republicans would gain a majority in District F. Moreover, the district would lose more than half its Hispanic population, according to a Review-Journal report on the plan published today.

The paper quotes Boggs McDonald thusly: “I don’t think about it because when a citizen calls me I don’t ask them if they’re a Republican or a Democrat, I just take care of business.”

That may be true, but when a partisan voter steps into the voting booth, he or she does ask what party their commissioner is. And Boggs McDonald knows that.

To be sure, Boggs McDonald has shown she has the ability to win in the district; with the help of consultants November Inc., she dismembered ex-Assemblyman David Goldwater’s campaign in 2004. But Goldwater’s campaign strategy — post high numbers in the primary in the hopes of drawing dollars later in the contest — didn’t work as well as he’d hoped. Future opponents may not make the same mistake.

And the boundaries won’t be changing before November’s elections, so Boggs McDonald will still greet Election Day with her nearly 7,000-voter deficit. If she wins again, however, her future seat will be much safer than her current one.

• Bad news for Assemblyman Scott Sibley.

• Really bad, post-Mormon conversion news for ex-Clark County Commissioner Dario Herrera.

• Super-bad, campaign killing news for would-be sheriff, Lt. Ron Williams.

And finally today…

• Say what you want about Mayor Oscar Goodman, and we’ve said plenty over the years, he’s right on at least one issue. In today’s Review-Journal story on the expansion of the city’s sometimes-controversial redevelopment area, Goodman outlined a simple philosophy that will guide the council when it comes to the use of eminent domain.

“There are certain rules we will abide by,” Goodman said. “This council, as long as I’m the mayor, will not take private property and give it to another private owner.”

On it’s face, the statement seems obvious, even patronizing. You mean you’ll abide by the provisions of the Bill of Rights’ Fifth Amendment, which allows only the taking of private property for public use. You won’t engage in armed robbery? Super!

But it is a big deal, especially in light of the U.S. Supreme Court’s gentle erasing of the Fifth Amendment’s meaning over the past few decades, culminating in the horrid Kelo v. New London decision last year, which essentially legalized the theft of private property in order to turn it over to other private owners. And Las Vegas — under a different mayor — was doing Kelo-style property thefts downtown before it was even cool.

In light of that, Goodman’s policy isn’t obvious at all. It’s welcome, and, from what the R-J reported, it seemed to calm his constituents who were worked about Kelo-style abuses. We wish more public officials would adopt the Goodman Doctrine with respect to eminent domain.

But just in case they don’t, there’s a way you as a citizen could stop any eminent domain abuses. Sign and vote for the so-called PISTOL initiative, now circulating. (It stands for People’s Initiative to Stop the Taking of Our Land.) You can find more information about that here.

Here are some observations, wrapped in the delicious, flaky crust of truth and baked at 400 degrees for 30 minutes in our extra-special, super-secret spices, the very recipe for Quick Hits!

• Oh, just quit already! Clark County Recorder Frances Deane is not going quietly into that good night, and Metro Police aren’t quite ready to cast her in irons. So, naturally, she’s returning to work, where, we hear, she’s not exactly the favorite boss in all of Las Vegas.

Clark County Manager Thom Reilly, sensing disaster, says he told her she should step aside, and he says Deane agreed. (She denies it.) Given the relative credibility of the two, we’re inclined to think that Reilly is telling the truth, and Deane decided she didn’t want to step down, perhaps out of fear that leaving for more than 30 days would constitute “abandonment.”

But Deane’s abandonment is exactly what the recorder’s office needs right now. Deane cannot possibly be effective with criminal charges pending against her. (Hell, they took away her computer when they seized a bunch of other evidence. She can’t even sit at her desk and play Solitaire!) Plus, contrary to Deane’s assertion that almost all of her employees “adore” her, the truth is that her presence in the office will be even more disruptive than normal.

Deane, however, can hang on almost forever: She can be arrested, booked, charged at a preliminary hearing or indicted by a grand jury, and be on trial and there’s no legal way to get her out of office. (Obviously, nobody figured on having an alleged criminal serving in an elected position, much less one without a sense of shame or guilt.) Until she is actually convicted of a felony, or her term expires in January, she cannot be forced from office.

Wonderful little system, isn’t it?

• So now it comes out. Attorney George Chanos wasn’t the best and brightest candidate for attorney general when Gov. Kenny Guinn appointed him to the job. He was just a warm body to fill a Republican slot. Or so implies Pete Ernaut, a Guinn advisor who spoke to the Las Vegas Sun for today’s editions.

“It wasn’t like there was a bunch of A-list candidates beating down the door,” Ernaut told the newspaper. “How do you know when you appoint someone whether they’ll carry through with their promise” to run for the job?

Well, maybe if they had at least one A-list candidate, things would have gone better.

Ernaut was responding, in part, to the criticism from Sig Rogich, Republican uber-consultant who helped get Guinn elected. The two have since had a falling out, since Rogich is advising U.S. Rep. Jim Gibbons, who nobody likes.

“What is shows is there’s no real political acumen in the governor’s mansion these days, no political compass,” Rogich told the Sun. Ouch, baby. That’s just mean.

• The voice of the people is only rarely the voice of God, but one quote from a prospective (and later dismissed) juror in the G-sting case probably sums up the feelings of a lot of Las Vegans. “One some level, I think all politicians have corrupted themselves,” the would-be juror said, according to the Review-Journal.

Maybe not all, but the list is sure as hell getting long.

• We were going to rag on U.S. Sen. Harry Reid for being such a total wuss with respect to U.S. Sen. Russ Feingold’s attempt to censure President George W. Bush for using the U.S. Constitution as toilet paper, but our friend Hugh Jackson has already said it best on his blog.

Sen. Reid: America can do a lot better.

• And finally today, Review-Journal reporter Joan Whitley, who penned some downright mind-numbing stories for the lamentable Living section in her day, has joined the paper’s special projects team. And her project today was to commemorate pro-open records Sunshine Week with a story about the noble battles fought by us in the media to get access to government documents.

Alas, as her story unwinds, we learn about the noble battles of “the news staffs of the Review-Journal and KVBC-TV Channel 3.”

Um, doesn’t she know that there’s another newspaper in town (it’s called the Las Vegas Sun, we think) and at least three other television stations? And that they all have had open-records and open-meeting battles? And that one of those stations, KLAS Channel 8, is well-known as the best, most in-depth hard news station in the berg?

Oh, and for full disclosure purposes, we’ll do what Whitley didn’t: Report that we at Various Things & Stuff employ a Channel 8 investigative reporter — George Knapp, the city’s best — in our other job, editor of a little paper called CityLife. We’ll also report that the R-J and Channel 3 have (or perhaps had; we’re too busy to keep up on such things) a cooperative relationship when it comes to news, in which Channel 3 would read R-J headlines on its late newscasts, which is about the hardest Channel 3 news ever gets.

Oh, please.

That’s our reaction after reading the Official Reason for the Bowing Out of Attorney General George Chanos. It’s been on many other blogs, but let’s reprint it for you here:

“When Governor Kenny Guinn appointed me attorney general I was honored at the opportunity to serve my fellow Nevadans. This office is a position where an individual can make a tremendous difference for the people of Nevada; however, it is also a position which requires a tremendous amount of time and obligation.

“As I have served I have realized that the commitment required to successfully do the job, while campaigning to keep it, prevents me from being the father and husband that I need — and want — to be.

“My first priority is to my family and however important the position of attorney general, my role as a father and husband is far more essential. While I will not be on the ballot in November I will continue to serve the people of Nevada as Attorney General with complete dedication until the completion of my term in January 2007.”

Some questions:

1.) How did Chanos, allegedly a smart guy, not realize that the job of attorney general, to say nothing of the rigors of campaigning for that job, was going to take a lot of time away from his family?

2.) In fact, Chanos was spending a lot of time with his family — at least that was the reason he gave for only rarely visiting the Carson City office, where the AG works. Or is family the fallback for every tough question?

One group that’s not questioning Chanos’ official explanation is the Nevada Republican Party, which had this to say:

“As the party of family values, the Nevada Republican Party understands and respects AG George Chanos’ decision not to run for election as attorney general. Since there are a multitude of excellent potential Republican candidates, all of whom are more qualified than the announced democrat candidate, the NRP is confident that Republicans will retain the office of attorney general in the November election.”

Leave aside the obvious slur against Catherine Cortez Masto, who is eminently qualified to hold the AG’s post. The “party of family values” is apparently ready to give Chanos a pass without really delving into his explanation.

But who would question it? Who would be so cynical, so anti-family values, so downright mean?

World, meet us.

Let’s turn to a story by Carson City Associated Press bureau chief (and all-around great guy) Brendan Riley. It is here that the truth emerges:

“But Chanos said that since his appointment he has realized he has no stomach for partisan politics, doesn’t like the ‘fishbowl’ existence of a statewide elective official and wants to spend more time with his family than his state post would allow.

“‘I just don’t believe that politics is the right field for me to be in,’ Chanos said, adding that he’s confident he could win this year but wouldn’t want to get elected and then ‘back out after I do win.’”

Oh, so in addition to pursuing his “family values,” Chanos didn’t like the scrutiny that comes with being the state’s chief law enforcement officer. Interesting. Let’s read more.

“Regarding his privacy, Chanos said, ‘I knew going into this position that I would sacrifice some degree of privacy, but I never really expected the level of coverage that I would receive.’

“‘I never expected it would affect me the way it did. I thought I would enjoy public exposure, and it turns out I really don’t enjoy it. I don’t like it at all,’ he said.

“‘I don’t want to be on the front page of the paper,’ he added. ‘I don’t want to walk out my front door to get the morning paper and wonder if I’m in it.’”

So now we’re seeing a clearer picture. Chanos jumped into political life thinking he’d eat up the attention of an adoring public and press, only to find that his decisions can be questioned, and not-so-nice things may be written about him. (A cynic — which we are — would say that if you don’t make the bad calls, you won’t get negative attention on the front page of the paper. But that’s sort of beside the point now.)

More? OK, since you asked.

“Chanos also said there’s too much partisanship in politics, at both the national and state levels, for him — although he has a lot of respect for others, both Democrats and Republicans, who ‘have the personality and disposition that allows them to succeed in that environment.’

“‘But I simply don’t have that personality and disposition,’ he said. ‘I tend to want more immediate results and tend to not back down from a fight, and I think that politics requires more patients [patience?] and more willingness to compromise.’”

But when it came to the immediate results that come with an election, Chanos did back down from a fight. Rather quickly, we might add.

The coup de grace from Riley’s piece: “Chanos singled out state Assembly Majority Leader Barbara Buckley, D-Las Vegas, as the type of politician he couldn’t work with, even calling her ‘bad for Nevada.’ Buckley and Chanos harshly criticized one another in a recent controversy over importing low-priced Canadian drugs, with Buckley pushing the idea and Chanos saying federal law prohibited the imports.”

Hey, at least Buckley puts her ideas and her record before the voters every two years. Chanos isn’t even going to do that once. And when you consider that Buckley was right about the prescription drug controversy and Chanos was wrong, it makes that comment all the more pathetic.

Our conclusion? Chanos may very well want to spend more time with his family, but the real reason he’s not going to run is that he ducked into the kitchen, found it was too hot for his liking and ducked out. So now the focus shifts: Which Republican will win the chance to go up against Cortez Masto?

Just a wee helping of Quick Hits, fresh from the oven:

• Wisconsin state Rep. Scott Jensen, a Republican, is facing 15 years in prison and a $35,000 fine after being convicted of using state employees on state time for political purposes.

Hmm, where have we heard that before? Oh, that’s right: Our very own Controller Kathy Augustine admitted to doing the exact same thing before the state Ethics Commission! (She was later impeached and convicted for using state property to aid her campaign, although two other, more serious, charges were dismissed.)

The difference? Augustine only got a $15,000 fine and a stern talking-to from the state Senate. She’s currently running for higher office, and saying she did nothing wrong.

Sigh. It must be nice to live in a state where they’re tough on political crime…

• It finally happened! Supporters of Henderson Mayor Jim Gibson outnumbered supporters of state Sen. Dina Titus at a Democratic event!

Then again, Gibson paid the $75 fee for his people to come to the Clark County Democratic Convention this weekend, where they donned Superman-themed T-shirts and cheered for the inevitable runner-up in the Democratic gubernatorial primary.

Not to be out-lamed, Titus’ crew — all of whom paid their own way — showed up with a box of green rocks labeled “Kryptotitus,” as in Kryptonite, the only material in the universe that can bring Superman down.

We hear that at the state Democratic convention, Gibson’s going to dress up as Captain America, while Titus will come as Wonder Woman, using the golden lasso to force Gibson to reveal how much he really made as CEO of the Las Vegas Monorail.

How many days until the primary again?

• It had to happen. The city of Las Vegas spent $5.5 million buying up old, rundown houses on the east side of Las Vegas Boulevard, anticipating an expansion of City Hall. And now, officials are looking at building an entirely new City Hall elsewhere.

Which means that you city of Las Vegas taxpayers are now the proud owners of some seriously crappy real estate.

The worst thing? The city was toying with the idea of building a new City Hall elsewhere when the land purchases were made, which means the City Council knew at the time the money might be wasted. But, since it’s not their money, who cares, right?

Hey, City Council, maybe golf course mogul Bill Walters will build a miniature golf course on the property, provided you give him lots of tax breaks and a million dollars!

Stop reaching for the checkbook. We were being sarcastic.

There are two very unhappy Republicans in Nevada today, following the surprising news — first broken by my colleague Jon Ralston in his FLASH e-mail newsletter — that appointed Attorney General George Chanos won’t seek election in November.

The first is Gov. Kenny Guinn, who had but one simple criteria for filling the job left vacant by ex-AG Brian Sandoval, who was tapped by President George W. Bush for a federal judgeship. Guinn wanted somebody who was willing and able to get elected to the position, rather than a caretaker who would just serve until November. In Chanos, he thought he’d found his man.

The second is Jones Vargas shareholder Joe Brown, the uber-inside player whose chance meeting with old friend Chanos after a prize fight at the MGM Grand led Brown to proffer Chanos’ name to Guinn in the first place.

Both cannot help but be disappointed today, since Chanos’ decision gives the definite advantage to Catherine Cortez Masto, the Democratic candidate for attorney general. She’s been campaigning for months, which puts her well ahead of anybody the Republicans can find to jump into the race. (Filing is but two months away!)

We’ve never met Chanos, but we know a few things. First, he was dead wrong in his legal opinion about the Canadian prescription drugs bill. (That document was later ignored by the state Pharmacy Board.) Second, he was even deader wrong to take to the airwaves on Face to Face with Jon Ralston and publicly insult Assembly Speaker-in-Waiting Barbara Buckley over the drug plan. And the way he launched the investigation of the Bill Walters/Royal Links land deal — from which he had to step aside after declaring a conflict of interest — gave critics unnecessary ammunition against the probe.

(Having said that, however, we have to give Chanos credit for standing up and launching a probe when local law enforcement had given up, and the city seemed poised to give away millions of tax dollars to a favored developer. Not every public official has that kind of courage, and we’re glad somebody stepped up and did it. And that will remain true regardless of the outcome of the probe.)

How would Chanos have fared at the polls? It’s an academic question now. The real question is: Who will Kenny Guinn find to run with such short notice? And will he make that person sign an oath in blood promising to actually be on the ballot come November?

UPDATE: Our mistake: Chanos is not resigning from the post, which means that Guinn won’t have the opportunity to appoint somebody new to the job. Republicans, we’re told by one insider, are scrambling to find somebody to get into the race. The front-runner seems to be state Sen. Mark Amodei, R-Carson City, who was mentioned but passed over by Guinn as a possible appointment. He seems to have the strongest chance, with name identification and the ability to raise money.

Saturday found Review-Journal “general interest” columnist Jane Ann Morrison once again covering the biggest story in town: Herself.

In a column of 16 paragraphs touting her new column photo, Morrison used the words “I,” “me” or “my” 22 times, together with quotes from readers who offered feedback on her new look.

We learn that “When it comes to changing my hair, I move glacially,” and, after an unfortunate experimentation with an “Afro,” she went with a “no muss, no fuss” style that endured “a long, long time.” It was finally a reader’s suggestion that she looked better on TV than in print that prompted her to make the big change.

Oh, and she worked reader response to a recent column on the aging Tropicana into the mix, too, and summed with this bit of obvious wisdom: “However, it’s true of me and it’s true of the Trop, looking old, tired and run-down isn’t a positive.”

The headline? “It takes courage, and a little kick, to change what should be changed.”

Sorry, but it doesn’t take courage to write about yourself like this; just an over-inflated and under-informed sense of self. Sure, readers may write in to applaud, but remember, these are the same people who think Olive Garden is the best Italian food in town, and Taco Bell the best taco. Nobody can be that starved for praise, can they?

Perhaps a better question is this: Is there nobody at the R-J who thinks enough of its junior marquee columnist to tell her the truth: She’s not a celebrity, and with columns like this, she’s in ever-greater danger of becoming a punchline?