After a few days of rest — followed by what seemed like a few days of work at the Ethics Commission’s hearing into Clark County Commissioner Lynette Boggs McDonald, we at Various Things and Stuff are back on the job.

Let’s catch up on a little business, shall we?

First, personal to Goldy: We never joke about golf, unless we’re talking about the skills of others. We happen to think that corrupt lobbyist Jack Abramoff wore a ball cap to his Miami allocution for the same reason that we wear a ball cap around town: We don’t want to get a sunburn on our head. Of course, Abramoff does have more hair than us, but whatever.

As for you, Stan, we only look pale on Nevada Week in Review because of a.) the bright studio lights and b.) we’re sitting next to the tannest man since George Hamilton, show host Mitch Fox. (It’s fake, we think.)

Well, now that that’s out of the way, let’s do some quick hits on things that happened while we were gone.

• U.S. Rep. Jon Porter, obviously acting at the behest of his dark masters, the House Republican leadership, called on U.S. Sen. Harry Reid and U.S. Rep. Shelley Berkley to return money from the aforementioned Abramoff. Not a good idea, angering the senior senator, whose press secretary, Tessa Hafen is now mulling a race against Porter.

Two things about Porter’s move are odd: One, Porter actually mouthed the criticism himself, instead of having his pit bull political consultants do it. Sure, it was typical Porter: A million cliches, sound bites and memorized one-liners. But he still put his “nice guy” image on the line.

Two, he’s a total hypocrite. No, we’re not talking about his accepting big contributions from Abramoff-connected U.S. Rep. Tom DeLay. We’re talking about his support for DeLay’s replacement as House majority leader, U.S. Rep. John Boehner, R-Ohio. Boehner has refused to return his Abramoff cash, too. Do you think Porter will be holding his new best friend to the same standard as Reid and Berkley? Or do you think that Porter’s outrage, like all those “partisans” he’s always bitching about in Washington, operates on a sliding scale?

• Gov. Kenny Guinn had another Profile In Courage moment that reminded us why Time magazine named him one of the five best governors in the country. At the tail end of a Review-Journal story about the state Board of Pharmacy wisely rejecting Attorney General George Chanos’ absurd interpretation of a law that lets the state set up a website telling Nevadans how to buy cheaper prescription drugs from Canada, Guinn did his best to occupy all sides.

Here’s his quote, painfully proffered by Press Secretary Steve George. Our inevitable remarks appear in italics inside brackets.

“He [Guinn] thought the Pharmacy Board did a good job of deliberating the issue and that he [Chanos] wrote a good opinion. [What? They both did a good job, even though they reached diametrically opposite conclusions?] He thinks the Pharmacy Board took it upon themselves to take bold action to say ‘We can go with this legislation.’ He [Guinn] is neither in support or against it.” [Just one problem, Steve. Guinn signed the Legislation, which would be a pretty strong indicator that he did support it.]

• The Las Vegas Sun on Jan. 8 ran a promotional piece on Station Casinos — borrowing a headline and an upbeat tone from the company’s annual report. But the piece by reporter Liz Benston failed to include one salient fact: The Greenspun family, owners of the Sun, are business partners with the neighborhood gambling giant in the Green Valley Ranch.

Normally, a story like this — in an ethical newspaper — would carry a one-line disclosure to readers. But the trend at the Sun is to promote and protect business partners. (Does anybody think the Sun would have front-paged the in-depth, informative and otherwise legitimate stories on Attorney General Chanos if Chanos hadn’t investigated another Greenspun business partner, Bill Walters? Neither do we.)

Don’t get us wrong: Station Casinos has done nothing wrong. They’re doing what they should do, which is promoting their brand. And in Station’s case, they’ve got a damn fine product to promote. It’s the Sun that’s committed the breach.

Disclosure never hurts and always helps give readers the full picture. (For example, we at Various Things & Stuff once worked for the Sun, and we now work for the Sun’s chief rival in town, the Stephens Media Group.) But that only goes for journalists concerned about ethics. The Sun, we’re sad to say, squanders its credibility on a daily basis and suffers more and more by its inclusion inside the Stephens Media-owned R-J.

• Speaking of media, we’re constantly amazed at the depths to which the R-J’s Living section can sink. Did you know, for example, that Las Vegas hosts many different conventions? Did you know that football fans are fanatical? Of course you did. Everybody did, until the captains of the obvious somehow squeezed an entire Sunday front page section out of it.

It occurs to us that the only viable explanation left is that the Living section writers are engaged in a great experiment: They trying to see how bad they can get, how boring, out of touch and uncreative they can possibly be, before the editors finally say something. Let us know how that works out, guys.

• Carson City blues. It seems a couple of Southern Nevadans are showing their preference for what end of the state they like best. Attorney General Chanos has only been to his Carson City office seven times since he was appointed to the job Nov. 1, according to the Reno Gazette-Journal. And Chanos was a little feisty when questioned by our friend and colleague Anjeanette Damon about it.

“I’m not keeping score and I don’t think anybody else should either,” Chanos said. “This is a petty and immature issue.”

Apparently, Chanos has never been to Reno or parts north, where they don’t take kindly to Las Vegas types dissing their snow-capped rural wonderland. And they’re especially proud that the capital of the state is up there.

Chanos added that he’s got an 8-year-old daughter down here and elderly parents, too. “Those considerations eclipse any others,” he told the Reno paper. “If choosing between my 8-year-old daughter saying she would like to see more of me and certain political types in Northern Nevada who would like to see more of me, I’m going to listen to my daughter.”

Hmmm. Sounds like somebody may not be ready for prime time. Let’s see now: Thus far, Chanos has managed to piss off Bill Walters, the Las Vegas City Council, every senior citizen who takes prescription drugs, organized labor (he was a big fan and supporter of the so-called “paycheck protection” initiative), Assemblywoman (and future Speaker of the Assembly) Barbara Buckley and, now, Northern Nevadans.

But wait! He’s not the only guy who apparently doesn’t like it up north. Republican candidate for Secretary of State, Brian Scroggins, also says he won’t live in Carson City if he gets elected to the job. Seems Scroggins has six kids in school and a business down in Las Vegas, although he did tell the R-J he might buy a house in Carson after all.

We at Various Things & Stuff don’t have kids, so we can’t relate to the child-care dilemma faced by Chanos and Scroggins. But we do know about politics. And if you’re running for office, you damn well better be aware of what that office requires. And if you can’t give full attention to the job, don’t seek it in the first place.