Sorry, readers!

That’s our humble and abject apology for being gone from the blogging biz for a week. We were sidelined by a number of things, including doing some actual journalism (interviews and all!) for an upcoming issue of CityLife.

But we’re back now, and ready to blog. Alas, history didn’t stop just because we were elsewhere. So let’s do a quick recap of some comment worthy things that happened when we were gone.

• General Motors Corp. agreed to sponsor the Las Vegas Monorail, in a deal worth an estimated $1.5 million. It was the second piece of good news for the troubled train; on Friday, the state Tax Commission agreed to extend the monorail’s outrageous tax-exempt status, despite questions about financial shenanigans surrounding the birth of the project.

But let’s listen in as our favorite monorail hyperbolic, Patrick Pharris of Promethean Partners, tells us why GM is going to wrap the Sahara station and maybe put a demonstration track nearby.

“I think it sends a very clear message in a loud manner when you have two of the nation’s leading advertisers making a significant commitment to Las Vegas and the monorail,” Pharris said. (The GM deal is slated to last six months. The other advertiser Pharris was referring to is Sprint.)

“Clearly, the monorail has been recognized as one of the most significant new media in North America,” he added. Clearly. Now if only they could get people inside those trains the way they get advertising on the outside, things would be great!

By the way, the monorail announced it would raise fees to $5 per one-way ride, up from $3 now, in a desperate gambit to break even before the train’s savings account is gone by 2008. Locals can ride for $1, but only if they buy discount tickets at a bus station first.

• Vice President Dick Cheney, obviously comfortable with indicted people, given his former chief of staff I. Lewis “Scooter” Libby’s legal trouble, headlined a fund-raiser for U.S. Rep. Tom DeLay. We think that sends a very clear message in a loud manner: Cheney and the GOP love power!

(To be fair, DeLay, much like Cheney, has yet to be convicted of a crime.)

• Assemblywoman Chris Giunchigliani will be running for the Clark County Commission seat currently occupied by fellow Democrat Myrna Williams.

We all pretty much knew that, but Giunchigliani’s husband, political consultant Gary Gray, confirmed it by sending a very clear message in a loud manner that his wife was running. We at Various Things & Stuff ran into Giunchigliani on Wednesday, and she told us she’s ready to do something beyond the state Legislature. She’s got a battle on her hands, as Williams is a venerable figure in the district; then again, so is Giunchigliani, since more than half of her Assembly district overlaps the commission district.

• Nevada casinos, for the second time in 2005, set all-time records for wins. October saw gamblers lose $1.06 billion in Nevada, the fourth time the monthly win topped $1 billion during the year, according to the Review-Journal, which keeps track of such things. How good was the win? Even lackluster downtown saw a 4.8 percent increase in win!

To quote our good friend and fellow blogger Hugh Jackson, who often sent a very clear message in a loud manner: Now, clearly, is no time to raise the gambling tax.

• Speaking of the Review-Journal, the paper took a survey of its readers to ask what comics they like. That’s always a dicey question, since the last survey resulted in really good comic stripes like Cathy and Doonsbury being exiled to the classified pages, along with not-so-good strips like Mallard Fillmore.

It turns out Doonsbury and Mallard were among readers’ least favorite. The R-J seems to believe it’s because they focus on politics, but we know the truth: You have to have some modicum of intelligence to get the jokes. Much better to revel in No. 3 favorite, Pickles, instead.

The favorites weren’t so bad: For Better or for Worse and Zits made the top two, which sends a very clear message in a loud manner: R-J readers don’t want to be challenged!

Let’s hope the R-J takes a long overdue step, returning all it’s comics to a single page, and running that page in the same place everyday, even if that means no more color. People who don’t like political cartoons (or the alleged “proselytizing” of a strip like B.C.) can skip over them … you know, the way they obviously skip over that other irritant, “the news.”

• A quotable we just couldn’t resist, from political reporter (and soon to be political columnist!) Erin Neff’s profile of would-be Democratic gubernatorial aspirant and Henderson Mayor Jim Gibson: “I respect womanhood and I think it’s important for people to learn to respect them.” Womenfolk, we think he meant.

Well, that whole being “pro-life” thing? Totally forgiven, mayor, so long as you support womanhood! Now that’s sending a very clear message in a loud manner!

• President George W. Bush made a critical error in thinking (yes, we’ll be more specific) on Monday, when he compared the Iraqi drive toward democracy with the American revolution. There were lots of struggles in the eight years separating the Revolutionary War and the adoption of the U.S. Constitution, Bush noted, and all governments go through growing pains.

The difference is, as anyone can plainly see, that America earned her freedom when her inhabitants decided to toss off the yoke of British oppression, and pledged their lives, their fortunes and their sacred honor to the cause. Only after that commitment was made did the revolutionaries accept help from a foreign government, France.

Iraq, by obvious contrast, was given it’s freedom by the United States. It was earned by American soldiers, not Iraqi ones. Iraq’s commitment to democracy was not forged by shot and shell and sealed in the blood of its countrymen, as America’s was. And that unique appreciation for freedom and its costs has not fully settled on the Iraqi mind.

It’s not to say that Iraq will never be a democracy (albeit a semi-theocratic one). But it’s nothing like the American experience, and you’d think the president of the United States, direct political heir to founding father George Washington, might know that.

• State Sen. Bob Beers finally filed his Tax and Spending Control initiative, hereinafter dubbed the Gut Government At All Levels Plan. The Review-Journal sent a very clear message in a loud manner with a front-page news story, followed by a praising editorial.

Whoops! It turns out the initiative had some wording problems, and had to be refiled to work out problems with respect to taxes and repaying government bonds. It’s what we in the business call “pulling a George Harris,” after the infamous failuremonger. In fact, we couldn’t help wondering if Harris had a hand in the madness, given his closeness with Beers. Anyway, everything should be fine after what the R-J termed a “clarification” is submitted to the secretary of state’s office.

• U.S. Rep. Jim Gibbons fell victim to a slow-motion implosion, as he was forced to amend, and then discard entirely, his “reform” to the 1872 Mining Law that would have allowed miners to develop land once any mineral claim had tapped out. It was derided by so many for so long that even the stubborn Gibbons — who held a conference call with reporters to explain his point to them — had to surrender in abject failure.

Gibbons promised to bring it back in 2006, the year in which he’ll be running for governor. But for now the very clear message sent in a loud manner is this: Gibbons can’t get shit done.

• Crazy-ass Regent Mark Alden has decided to stop serving on all the committees of the Board of Regents so that he can raise money to win another term on the Board of Regents. Hmmm, interesting: Stop doing the job of regent so he can raise money and run for another term as a regent. Yes, we see. Interesting.

“The problem is no matter what I say in these committee meetings — and I do believe I have a wealth of experience — nothing happens,” Alden told the R-J. Well, we can explain that: Alden is whack.

And that’s pretty much it, readers. You’re all caught up. We promise to try not to let our duties elsewhere keep us from the keyboard for so long again. Thanks to the two readers whose very clear message sent in a loud manner prompted us to get off our ass and start typing.