We at Various Things & Stuff have learned the Las Vegas Hilton’s in-room entertainment features socialite Paris Hilton’s infamous sex videotape One Night in Paris. Oh, that’s right, her name’s just not on the side of the building, it’s on many guests TV screens, too. (But we’re pretty sure they don’t print it on your bill.)

Seriously, it’s true.

So what are we to make of the story that reports on a study suggesting patients who go to Level 1 trauma centers (like University Medical Center) are 20 percent less likely to die than those who go to Level 2 trauma centers (like Sunrise Hospital Medical Center)?

We’re not going to suggest Sunrise is a bad place, although in our view, Sunrise launched its trauma center primarily to make money, and put pressure on the state’s regulatory system to get licensed. But having a Level 2 trauma center at Sunrise is probably more beneficial to patients than just having an old-school emergency room.

But we do think it’s time that the valley devised a method of routing patients to the best place for care, rather than dividing the valley up geographically. Currently, Sunrise takes all patients who need trauma care who are injured in an area bordered by Sahara Avenue, Paradise Road and Sunset Road. And there’s a good chance that some of those patients need the higher level of care provided by UMC.

The trouble is, who decides? Paramedics can’t make the call, and trauma surgeons can’t ride around in ambulances for that purpose. But if there was a way for the county to develop a system where a doctor could get the relevant facts by radio, like in the classic television show Emergency, and direct the patient to either UMC or Sunrise, depending on the injuries, emergency care would probably improve.

But who does that? And who would that person work for? We’re guessing the always-simmering tensions between UMC and Sunrise will no doubt surface if such a proposal gets serious consideration. Both sides would worry about one institution being favored over the other. There’s a money angle to all of this, and that cannot be denied.

Mayor Oscar Goodman says he’s “mystified” about yet another twist to Slogangate, the mini-scandal that saw the famous “what happens here, stays here” slogan end up in the hands of the Las Vegas Convention & Visitors Authority’s longtime ad firm, R&R Partners.

It seems as lawyers were burning through a quarter-million in taxpayer dollars to come up with a policy that would prohibit the convention authority from selling or giving trademarks to R&R, the company filed for rights to yet another authority trademark, “Only Vegas.” (This fact was reported by eagle-eyed business writer Chris Jones of the Review-Journal, but not, curiously, the Las Vegas Sun, which broke the “what happens here, stays here” story.

In any case, it appears the slogan was first registered more than a year ago, but it’s still a terribly ill-considered move, given the controversy that surrounded the sale — for $1 — of the first slogan to R&R. And it seems especially ill-timed, given that outside lawyers hired by the convention authority say ownership of all slogans should rest exclusively with the convention authority.

(In fact, the fact that no one has ever been able to articulate why the sale to R&R was even necessary — and why the authority couldn’t own and enforce its own copyrights — is what gave this story legs at all.)

“This had better be the last of the kinks,” Goodman said in the R-J Indeed. If there was ever a time for the convention authority to demonstrate transparency, integrity and — what’s the word we’re searching for? — competence, it’s now.